March 101 in 1001 update - Baby Pictures

So, I wanted to do another update post on my 101 list.  I'm beginning to wonder if I'm going to finish this at all!  So many things I'd need to do this summer to get it done as I did practically nothing last summer.  Ah well.  

45. Join a church

We're just waiting to become members.  We've gone to the classes, sent in our paperwork and our testimonies, and my husband had a meeting with the pastor.

55. Get back to pre-pregnancy weight

I'm where I was before getting pregnant with my littlest one now!  10 more pounds to get back to where I was before I got married, but I feel that is likely unrealistic, and set my goal a few pounds above that.  I'm using the 'lose it' app to track my food again and started exercising with my oldest daughter for her Phys Ed.

58. Take a self defense class?  DONE (March 2025)

My oldest and I are doing a weekly Jiu Jitsu class in town!  It's interesting.  I'm not very good at it, but that's ok.  Honestly, I did not expect to actually do this one at all!  A friend of mine told me about it late February when we were chatting at the mall, and after mentioning it to my oldest, she was the one to push us to start going 2 weeks later as we were busy that following weekend.  If she wouldn't have pushed, I don't think I'd have gone, to be honest.  Sad, I know.  But now we've gone 3 weeks!  I think it is fantastic!

67. Make baby picture wood slices for each child for our ‘tree’, with a wedding photo of us  DONE (March 2025)

I decided against the wedding photo because I like the heart image of us.  I may print a wedding picture to fit into there eventually, but I'm just super happy to have each of my kids on this tree now!  I only had the 5 for a really long time because I only had five frames!  And to think, my brother made this for me when I was pregnant with my third!

I am super proud of this!  I really wanted to do the photo transfer on the wood, but after attempting it and having it turn out terrible, I looked up a bunch more websites and saw that it likely wasn't a good fit for what I was doing and printed out the photos on glossy photo paper instead, cutting them to the perfect size and gluing in place.  I put the child's name and year of birth on the backs of the slices.  I initially was going to put that info on the photo but I like the idea of making people guess who is who.  I guess having the images in chronological order would make that too easy, though, haha.

84. Learn how to fix/clean keyboards/electronics  (DONE - March 2025)

I've taken apart a couple of keyboards now to clean them.  One I couldn't actually take apart completely, but the other I did!  It had water damage, so I couldn't fix it because the water removed some of the chip.  It was interesting to see how it functioned, and I did attempt to use the 'button press' pad to fix a broken button on a game controller.  Unfortunately, because it was not the correct part, it didn't last, but I figure I did pretty good as the controller worked again for a while!  Fun fact, my son put together his own computer, so now I figure I can ask his help on some of these things, haha.

So 49 are done with 52 left to go.  Ugh.  Way over half done the time but not even half done the list!  Ah well.   

Anybody else doing a 101 in 1001 list?

The Harsh Flow of Time

When life grips you and doesn't let you go, you neglect the things that aren't of vast importance.  And this blog has been one of those things.  I apologize.  I haven't been here since 2018, and it is so strange to see this space again after so long!

Life has hit us hard.  Good things, bad things, all the things.  We've almost lost the farm.  2018 was hard in that way.  My husband's dad became sick and was unable to work on the farm anymore, and my husband has been working extra hard to keep it going.  Summer of 2018 saw a huge heat wave hit the area, and many farms were affected.  Milk decreased, and the animals don't do well, even when you do everything you can to help them.  The bank we were with decided to send someone down in the midst of the heat wave.  He didn't like dad, and had decided we were neglecting our animals (they hold their heads down when hot, and look so sad).  He made an attempt to set the milk board against us.  We were told a number of things by animal welfare that we were to do... all of which we were already doing and had been doing for years except for two things that were not something we could reasonably do in our current barn (I will say, we did end up doing them both, but the one has cost us tens of thousands in repairs over the last 5 years.  Exactly what we said would happen.  We were supposed to be able to build a new barn by now, but the bank lied to us when we signed on 14 years ago).  This guy sent a bad report to the bank which caused them to tell us to pay the mortgage in full right away or they would foreclose on our farm.  We had to sell land, quota, equipment, all to attempt to keep what was ours because one guy (who made it clear in the past that he disliked dad for some reason) wanted to shut us down.  We didn't cave.  Thousands of dollars in lawyer fees later, we were allowed to push the payment of the 7 figure loan for about a year.  I got pregnant during that time, and we had a baby girl, due right around when they wanted the balance.  Thankfully, they allowed another few months, and then because dad was super ill, they pushed it yet again.  We were paying off huge segments of the loan with the sales of land and quota.  Then, at the beginning of the covid19 pandemic, dad died.

I don't even know where to begin when it comes to dealing with the passing of someone close to you.  The kids were devastated.  My oldest son and dad were very close.  My 5th child, Baby Z, the one I mentioned in my last post, was named after my father in law.  In Dad's last weekend, I felt my husband should take Baby Z to visit dad.  I'm so glad he did.  We were blessed to be living next door, and the older kids went to play games and puzzles with mom and dad often (we knew he was dying for months now, so we did what we could to keep the kids from getting sick.  We were told even a cold could kill him).  It was hard.  And then we got the call.  He had asked for my husband.  We knew.  The ambulance was called, he was brought to the hospital, and only one person was allowed in the room with him at a time.  He died alone, when the brothers were switching shifts outside.  

What made things even harder was that this was in the midst of the shutdowns.  No hugs.  No gatherings.  No funerals.  10 people in one place and no more than that.  And my family was 8 people.  No exceptions.  We felt very alone during that time.  No church family, although I am very grateful to the 2 families who came of their own accord and brought us a meal.   Very few people came to the viewing.  The service was one of the first ones they did online, and so there were bugs to work out, but they managed it.  Two of his own children couldn't come because they lived out of province and travel wasn't allowed.  It was really hard on mom.  

I gave hugs anyway.  

Covid really wrecked things for everyone, and our family was no exception.  Some things didn't change much, however we lost many of our support systems.  Lost friends.  Hurtful things said.  Felt abandoned and alone by our church.  Our homeschool group ended due to the regulations.  Our farm was struggling to get by as it is now half the size it was before while still trying to support the huge insurance payments and such from when it was so much larger.  Then there was the storm that destroyed part of the barn in 2021, and while insurance is supposed to cover everything, the last concrete tower silo was unable to be salvaged and the cost to rip it down and replace it and the feed room was more than the 'value' of the tower by insurance, so we had to pay 5 figures out of pocket, which we really didn't have.  The drought brought a huge increase in feed costs, so that they doubled in only a few short months, and we felt like we were drowning once again.  In fact, I'd say we've been barely surviving things this entire time.

March of 2021, I found out I was expecting yet again!  It might sound weird, but I was terrified.  I didn't want to make appointments.  I didn't want to acknowledge it at all.  I was scared of what people would say and think.  I'm not sure why, but I think my hormones and anxiety were in rough shape due to everything over the last few years already.  It took everything in me to even make my first appointment, and with the mask requirement in most places, I stayed home.  It is hard to describe what I felt.  It made no sense.  In order to make myself tell others, I decided to write a parody song to Shania Twain's 'I feel like a woman'.  I did my best to get excited and not worry about what others would say or think, and it actually worked.  I became excited over time about our coming baby!

Pregnancy is always a crazy time for me, and I went a bit crazy renovating the girls shared bedroom.  Built a few things outside, cleaned in the barn office, found project after project to keep my mind and body occupied as my anxiety was through the roof with everything going on.  I feared giving birth.  I feared I would die.  Nightmares plagued me.  Anxiety was terrible.  It was crippling.  I had never experienced it this bad before.  And then, my husband was sick and anxious himself.  On medications.  Problem after problem on the farm.  Dad was gone.  He was the sole decision maker, and there were a number of things he still had to learn.  It was hard.

I went through a 46 hour labor with my last baby, and oh boy... she did not want to turn.  I didn't know when to go to the hospital because my pushing stage with my 6th baby saw my contractions at 5 minutes apart even while pushing.  I had 2 weak contractions and one strong one with my last 3 babies.  It made things very difficult to time.  I actually had an epidural this last time, and almost had issues with that one, too!  I was exhausted as I hadn't slept in days now, could feel that I was fighting the contractions due to exhaustion, and so I asked for one.  The tech said there was a blood clot in the needle and he had to re-administer, and it was likely I would get headaches due to loss of spinal fluid.  Thankfully, I didn't get the headaches.  

Baby still didn't want to come out, and I was afraid I'd need a c-section.  I usually reach pushing stage and baby is here in less than 3 contractions of active pushing, but I lost count with my last baby.  She wouldn't enter the birth canal.  Not at all.  I remember saying 'I can't' out loud, and then prayed that God would do something because I couldn't do this without Him.  Next contraction, the baby entered the birth canal!  The following contraction, she was out!  Turns out, she was not facing the right way.  She came facing my left leg instead of my spine.  However, none of that mattered in the end!  She was here!  And she was beautiful!  All the kids were so excited to meet her, although they had to wait until we came home as there were no visitors allowed in the hospital at all due to the restrictions.  Honestly, though, I kind of liked it being just me, my husband, and our newest baby.  Blessings in all things, and God knew what I needed.  (I did make a video on YouTube of my birth story, but it isn't made public right now.  Not sure I want to publish it publicly yet.  I might need to make a shorter version for that).

Anyway, Baby K is a year old now.  We are planning our 20th anniversary already.  I'm homeschooling 5 kids age kindergarten through 9th grade while attempting to keep the farm going.  I've been learning new things, like making butter, cottage cheese, yogurt, and I even started canning this last fall!  And I've joined the ranks of bird owners, as we got chickens last June, too!  I love having my own fresh eggs each morning!

Life is an adventure!  It is incredible to me just how much things can change over the years.  Time has been hard on us, but we are better for it.  And our family is bigger, and I wouldn't change it for the world!  God knows what is best for our family, and I just pray for His continued guidance in all things.  I need more time with Him, as I feel pulled in so many directions as of late.

How is it possible that my oldest is a young woman already?  How is it possible that I've been married almost 20 years now?  How is it possible that I'm turning 40 this year?  How can it be?  I still don't feel much different than I did when having my first baby almost 15 years ago.  How is it possible?

The flow of time is swift and harsh.  One day, you are young and newly married, then you start having a family and you are a young mom, then you look in the mirror and see an older person than you thought you were looking back at you.  How does this happen?

The saying really is true... Time flies.

1. How did it get so late so soon? It’s night before it’s afternoon. December is here before it’s June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon? - Dr. Seuss

The Last Two Years

I am taking a break from my NaNoWriMo this year, which is also the first year I am ever doing it, because I finally remembered this blog, and the need to update it once again.  You see, the last two years has been eventful for us, and I haven't taken the time to update any of my readers.  I am sorry.  I do still exist!  Really, I do!  I kind of entered the world of Youtube and started making videos there, and when I stopped editing the videos and posting them here as well (mostly from my cookbook blog), I just kind of quit altogether.

By the way, we added one more to the mix.

Today is my baby boy's first birthday.  Yup, I didn't write anything in my blog about my struggle with God on His desire to have me give Him control on my fertility again, or about how I finally saw that God really had my best interests in mind and gave Him that control, nor how I got pregnant shortly afterward.  I never wrote about how He gave me all the desires of my heart on the matter, either.  Sad, really.  What a missed opportunity to show how wonderful God truly is!

I did do a vlog on it, however!  Here is the link to the video where I talk about my birth story.

I am so blessed!

I have many videos on that specific channel about mom stuff, Christmas, Vlogtober, and so on.  It is more of my 'mom life' and 'homeschool life' channel.  Oh yeah, did I mention we started homeschooling?  We are entering our third year, and it has been a fun time!  The kids enjoy it, and I have been blessed to make friends with a number of other homeschool moms and families in our area.  I have been taking on less things this year than I did  our first two years, mostly because I just cannot mentally deal with it all, but I still want to do more because the kids love it.  I am a bit introverted and would rather spend all my time at home with my family, so having the homeschool group doing things in the area is fantastic.  Now if only my husband could join us more often.  His work schedule has gotten even busier in the last year, which is crazy to think about.  And this year has put a lot of stress on both him and myself as a result in regards to farming.  We've been needing a lot of prayer.

Speaking of prayer, I need to spend more time praying for a number of things.  One of those things being Christmas.  I have become very depressed about Christmas this year.  I had issues with things last year as well, and it seems I haven't fully dealt with those issues and they are coming back to bother me this year.  I believe Satan is just trying to steal my joy.  And make me feel all the mom guilt.  You see, I have had a busy 2018 with birthday parties (A's 5th, M's 10th, my husband's 40th, and the new little guy's (we'll call him Baby Z) first birthday) and I did nothing for the baby.  Nothing.  His birthday was today and we went and bought him some sleepers because I didn't realize the ones I had added foot windows.  At least 3 sets of sleepers I currently own need to hit the trash.  So, sleepers for his birthday gift.  In all honesty, I have so many baby toys from the other 4 kids, I don't want to get more for him right now.  But, I feel the guilt because I never made him a birthday cake.  I never had anybody over.  I did nothing.  And I don't want to do anything.  I mean, I do... mainly because I know if I don't he'll be asking years down the road why there aren't any pictures of his first birthday party like all his older siblings had.  And I want to celebrate him, too.  But I don't want to bother doing all the work it requires.

You know I will do it anyway, right?  It is just going to be late.

That said, I am dreading Christmas.  I usually love Christmas.  Love it.  I adore all the fun winter activities to do with the kids, the baking, the wrapping and decorating.  This year, I don't want to be bothered with any of it.  I feel like the grinch.  I am sick of the commercialism of it all.  I want my kids to have fun, sure, but if it was just me, I would forget about it completely (except for the Christmas plays, I still enjoy those.  And the music.  I love the carols).  I just feel like it has all become some gag for spending more money on unnecessary things.  I know, that sounds terrible, grinchy, and in all like such an 'un-mom' thing to say, but I am just so tired.  I know my kids are excited for all the things I loved doing with them every year, and I want to be excited for them as well, but I am not.  Partly because I am also tired of doing it all by myself.  My husband, bless him, is working ALL THE TIME.  The farm cannot operate without him, and since before summer, his dad has been unable to do anything in the barn anymore, so he has shouldered all the responsibility his dad had as well as his own stuff.  It is straining him, and he very rarely gets a half day off.  So, I know that anything that requires doing stuff with the kids will require doing it without him.  Which is hard.  Especially for a home-body.

And don't get me started on Christmas shopping.

Most years, I have my stuff half purchased by summer.  Not this year.  I was on declutter mode after Christmas last year, so I didn't buy much of anything.  We have a few items for A, and bought all the pajamas for our Christmas Eve tradition right after Christmas last year, but nothing else.  And then we have ticket gifts to purchase for as well, and I don't see when we can go Christmas shopping at all.  I am trying not to stress out, but I am anyway.  And I am in declutter mode again, as there is so much STUFF in here!  I totally understand why most larger families do less gifts.  IT isn't so much a money thing as it is a space thing!

Anyway, I am rambling.  I'm good at that.  Especially since with NaNoWriMo, we have been told to just type words and not worry about editing.  So, call this my NaNoWroMo entry, hahaha.  Which reminds me, I need to catch up on my word count tomorrow.  I am only at 4800 words, and should be just shy of 6700.  Oops.  At least I finally started the third book of the trilogy I wanted to write... that I wrote the first book of in 2006.  Ouch.  I had to reread the two other books to even remember what I was writing about, and I couldn't remember much of what I even wanted to do with the third book because I cannot find where I wrote it down.  I had a plan for it, but it's gone.  So, new plan.  I'm mostly winging it.

I may never publish this story, but at least I will write it.

Wish me luck!

My Birth Story - Three Weeks Later

Baby B is here!  She arrived three weeks ago (big reason as to why I haven't blogged in that time).  I am so thankful she is here, and life just feels right, having her in our family.  I cannot remember what it was like without her now, as strange as that may sound.  Anyway, a few days after arriving home from the hospital, I had a rough draft of my birth story written out, but it was all factual and stuff.  Didn't read well.  I wanted to rewrite it... but took until today to finally do so.  Just a warning, there might be some TMI in here for those who are squeamish about that sort of thing.

Thanks again to everyone who was praying for me!  Your prayers were felt!

And now...

Baby B's Birth Story

“The baby will come today… baby has to come today!  I just know it,” said I for the 5^th day in a row.  It was 13 days past my expected due date, and I had been having false labour for almost that long already.  I did NOT want to be induced, and we all know that at 14 days overdue, induction is pushed.  Thankfully, my doctor hadn’t even suggested it yet, but the way he talked about my next appointment sounded like if I didn’t have the baby by then, we’d be scheduling one.

12:15 rolled around.  I did not expect to make it to my Thursday appointment, and decided beforehand that if I did, I’d get a sweep done.  I was 3cm and 70% effaced now.  Dr K asked me if I knew of natural ways to try to kick start labour, and suggested trying to use a pump.  At this point, I was willing to try it if it meant not needing Pitocin.  I was having false labour again, and decided to time things anyway.  6-7 minutes apart.  Once at home, even though I was tired and really wanted to nap, that seemed virtually impossible with the kids as awake as they were.  Plus, M would be coming home in less than an hour (I tried napping at my mom’s for a bit with no success due to A and these Braxton’s).  So, I pulled out the pump.

Shortly after using it, the contractions went to 5 minutes apart.  When they looked like they might be slowing down, I started another session and immediately they moved to 3 minutes apart… and much stronger.  These did not feel like before.  M had just gotten home.  I was excited… but doubtful.  I picked up the phone.  "Honey, I think labour might be starting, but it is weird… no, I don’t think you need to rush.  Yes, they are 3 minutes apart, but it feels different."  He was inside within 5 minutes.  M heard the ‘L’ word, and all of a sudden the house was full of excitement.  ‘Mom, are you in labour?  Is the baby coming?  YAY!  Let’s get ready to go!  Hurry, baby is coming, I’ll help you’.  At this point, I was praying this was for real as I really did not want to disappoint her and say ‘oops, false alarm’.  After all, you’d think I’d know the difference at this point.  I’ve had 3 kids already!

We dropped the kids off at my parents and headed to the hospital, even though I really wanted to just go for a walk or take a nap… things still didn’t feel like active labour.  We got to the hospital around 5pm. Nurse C checked me, and then asked if I could let the nurse in training check me as well, as I was easy to measure.  However, even when they both said I was 5cm and fully effaced, I was doubtful, mostly due to what happened last time.  She figured I was right on the edge of active labour, once again strange to me as usually when we get to the hospital I’m in full on active labour with the same measurements.  I went from feeling like we’d be holding our baby in about 2 hours, to ‘oh no.  How long will this one take?’  I was able to walk through the contractions with no difficulty, which I found strange.  But I was extremely tired as I hadn’t gotten my usual nap, and so, even though I knew that keeping active would be best, I went to lay down... that's when things got frustrating. 

The contractions moved to 6 minutes apart, and then kept changing from 3, to 6, to 1 or 2 minutes apart… some weaker than others, all the while feeling like false labour with strong contractions this time.  I started asking about an epidural, even though I was afraid it might slow labour, but I wanted to sleep so badly.  They checked me again around 8pm.  Nurse C got a strange look on her face, and then asked to check me during a contraction. I was about 6 cm (she said there was no change before when she checked me).  At this point, knowing my body was exhausted, I was asking for a pause button so I could take a nap and start over.  I was ready to give up… only 1 cm in 3 hours?  Feeling defeated, I went to the washroom.  The epidural tech came in but I didn't know that (she became my nurse, and told me she was the tech after delivery).  They wanted to check me again to see if I could get the epidural, even though it hadn’t been long.  I waddled over to the bed, and then tried to sit.  “Um,” I said as I stood back up, shaking my head.  I could not sit, or lay down.  I stood by the bed, leaning forward through contractions, not knowing what to do, wondering why contractions still felt the way they did, and thinking I must still only be 6, maybe 7 cm.  I was beginning to wonder what would happen if I needed a caesarean, and I remember telling the baby to get into position, “You are coming out TODAY”.  After what felt like a few more minutes, but could have been an hour for all I knew, I forced myself to lie down.  The nurse checked me again.

“Oh!” she said with some surprise in her voice, “you are 9 cm now… maybe more!”  I heard a voice in my head that said 'You've got this'.   But now that I was lying down, I did not want to get back up.  I figured only one more contraction should get me there, anyway.  It didn't. 

At this point, things were crazy… almost surreal.  The contractions were 'ok'.  I could deal with them.  They didn't feel like 9cm, as usually by 7 or 8 I’m asking for the gas or something… anything, to help me cope.  I didn’t want the gas.  At one point, just after a contraction, I looked up at the new nurse in front of me and told her "now the baby is hiccupping.  Seriously… she’s hiccupping!"  Throughout, she had been kicking and moving, and the nurses were having trouble checking her heartbeat. She decided to kick the Doppler a few times, too… just to let them know she was having none of that.  Something else that I found really different from my other deliveries was that during the contractions I could hear what everyone was saying and understand it all.  They whispered, but I still zoned in on it.  I even read the forms they were writing things in as they moved by with them.  ‘So, I went to the bathroom at 8:20pm.  Interesting.  I wonder what time it is now?’  There were always two nurses in the room with me at this point, and they swapped out the equipment they had brought in while I was in the bathroom, to a bunch of other stuff.  I also remember seeing the doctor 'hiding' in the corner sometime shortly after being checked... they must have called him in.

Time doesn’t pass the same when you are in labour.  I had no concept of it.  I only remember things taking much longer than I was expecting to get from ‘almost there’ to ‘pushing’.  I could hear the nurses talking to the doctor, as well as a doctor in training, saying she could hear that my contractions were progressing things by the sound of my voice.  I moaned through all of them, something I did not do with my other babies.  When I felt my body finally start to push, I waited for the gush I had with my previous two babies.  Nothing.  I moved to hands and knees before the next pushing contraction… still no waters.  ‘Wow… that is one strong bag’, I thought, wondering why I wasn’t feeling her descend further.   I heard the doc ask to break my water.  Another contraction passed.  “Will breaking the water make her come sooner?  If it would make things happen faster, yes”.  No crowning after 3 contractions… it was disheartening.  I never even noticed him breaking it, but then they wanted me to lie down again so they could get her heartbeat.  I could feel her move down with the next pushing contraction, but then I felt her move back in after it ended.  I briefly wanted to cry… and then I got angry.

“No!  You are coming OUT!”

The nurse tells me to push really hard to get that baby out.  Another contraction hit and I felt her crowning again.  When it ended, I was asked if I wanted to feel the head.  I wanted to… I really did.  “No,” I said, afraid she'd go back in.  Plus, I was so tired; I just wanted to breathe through this break.  Next push, and her head came out.  The nurse on my right said "one more good push, get the shoulders out".  I waited for the contraction, and then I felt her arrive! 

It was as if knowing that hard work was done gave me renewed energy.  I was so alert when they put her on my chest at 9:44pm.  I saw her bright eyes, vernix covering her back and head (which told me she wasn't nearly as overdue as the date would suggest), and I pulled her a bit further up to see if I could get her to my breast.  I was so happy I felt I could burst!  It took a while before I felt the contraction for the placenta, and felt my body push it out. 

Then it all happened again.

There was a gush and the nurses went crazy.  The lights went on.  Dr. K was asking why I didn't already have an IV, and the nurse told him I had asked not to have it.  I was able to hold the baby for a little while longer (I did my best to ignore everyone else) while they put an IV into one hand, hooked up another in my arm, a pill in my butt, but thankfully no catheter.  The nurses mentioned how easy it was to put the IV in.  The shakes started again as they took the baby to weigh, measure, and clean up, but they were not as bad as with my last birth.  I heard them say she was 8lbs, 4oz, 51cm long (I quickly calculated 20 inches), and her head circumference was 35cm.  They commented on how chunky she was, and wanted to grab the other scale to compare as they figured this one must be wrong.  It wasn't.  My husband said "so, she didn’t actually haemorrhage this time?"  Yes.  Yes I had.  I was happy when they gave the little one back to me.  She immediately started suckling and 'crawling' her way up my chest.  The nurse was so impressed with how active she was, and was calling the other nurse over to watch.  “Look, this is what you call casual nursing!  Years ago they would insist you need to be sitting up to nurse.”  Baby got a good latch with no help from me and fed 40 minutes each side. 

While the nurse was impressed with baby, she was not impressed with my uterus.  It would firm up, and then get 'boggy' again each time they would check it.  They kept checking me all through the night, keeping the one IV on, trying to bring the drip down bit by bit.  I was really thankful when they were able to remove the needles (the one in my arm had actually bent).  My back hurt terribly.  The one nurse figured I likely had some back labour.  "She was moving so much in there, I can imagine your back would be very sore".   I had baby skin to skin all night long, hoping that it would also help.  Baby was content and quiet, just this little 'head' visible around the blanket.  Yeah, that bassinet maybe had her in it for a grand total of 15 minutes the entire time I was at the hospital.

Nurse R came in the next morning after I had my blood test.  “You lost a lot of blood,” she told me.  I asked how much, and she hesitated a bit.  “Well, it was over 1L with everything weighed overnight.”  “Oh… that’s not bad!”  Honestly, I didn’t feel like I’d haemorrhaged.  I had more energy than I was expecting (except for being tired with no sleep).  She said she was surprised by my haemoglobin count.  It was higher than expected, at 111 points, but I was to stay a second night.  By the time I left the hospital (before lunch on Saturday), it was 125.  To put this in perspective, the average levels for pregnancy are 120-160, and my level at 28 weeks was only about 120! 

I feel so relaxed with Baby B.  No stress to figure out what is wrong, she is mostly content when in my arms, and she sleeps ok at night… although for the first couple of nights at home she wouldn’t let me sleep unless I held her in bed.  By the time she was 1 week old, she was back to her birth weight.  We had an issue with the cord stump as it was a bit smelly and then fell off at 6 days due to the clamp being left on and hooking on something, but after about a week, everything was normal again.

I am so thankful for what God did through all this!  We had a prayer chain going, and I could feel it!  I am sore and part of me never wants to give birth again (I wanted so badly to ‘give up’ and sleep), but it was, in all, a good (although wacky) birth.  We are healthy, God answered prayer, and I actually had a natural labour and delivery… no laughing gas necessary!  I feel empowered by that thought… but not enough to want to do it again… at least not for a few years.  ;) 

Thank you, Lord, for all of my children.  And thank you for taking care of me.

 

My last belly pic.  Man, was I huge!

 

 Little baby B, chubby cheeks and all <3 bram="" in="" like="" looks="" much="" p="" picture="" she="" so="" this="">

 

 My oldest two, checking out their newest sister.  And A is sitting with me.  (love!)

 

My girls!

 

Baby B, 3 days old.

41 weeks and counting

Many thoughts have been running through my head in the last week.  I am 'overdue'.  Baby is still in my belly, 11 days after the due date has come and gone.  I knew it would likely be later due to when I tested and how things showed up on the test, but I was not expecting to still be pregnant so close to February. 


It isn't that I don't enjoy being pregnant.  This pregnancy has been fantastic!  I have been getting a little tired of all the questions if I'm walking enough, or taking the right things, or this and that.  As if I had control over any of it.  M comes home each day from school and says 'Awww, I thought you'd have the baby today'.  This morning she looked at me as I made breakfast and said 'you are still pregnant?', obviously repeating the phrase she has heard over and over.  My cousin, who was originally due the same day as me, was also pregnant still (as of yesterday... may have changed).  I have heard all manner of things.  Example is my mother in law.  In December she went on and on about how this could be a New Years baby (due date was Jan 16... so two weeks early).  Why?  Due to my size.  Now she is saying Valentine's baby.  Funny how she jumped 6.5 weeks like that.  I am not going 4 weeks over.  I know she says these things without thinking about them, but it can frustrate a girl... especially one who is trying to patiently wait on God's perfect timing in all this.


It is interesting, though, what He has been teaching me here.


I have been hearing stories, seeing the news, headlines, and so on about wars, rumors of wars, asteroids passing close by, things of that sort.  It reminds me of the things we are told will happen before the last days.  We can tell it is close, but we don't know when.  We cannot even guess!  It could be sooner than we think, or it could be a long time yet.  And we should all be like my daughter, thinking 'is it today?  It might be today!'.  Are we ready if it is?  The whole thing about the end days being like a woman in labor brings a whole new thought.  We know it is coming, but we don't know when.  We know it will not be comfortable but we don't know the level of discomfort, or how long exactly it will last for, or how it will build, or even if we will mentally be able to handle it (even though we were designed for it).  We DO know that God will be with us through it all.  We DO know that the end will be worth it all to the point of forgetting the pain we went through in order to behold that glorious coming.  And since having 3 babies and waiting not-so-patiently for our fourth, I see this so differently than I did before.  We wait, and we know it will be worth the wait.  We may even get excited about it in the beginning, knowing 'it's here', and able to work through the 'birth pains' as they start out, knowing that each one is bringing us closer and closer to that moment.


I think God really knew what He was talking about when he compared those days to labor.  I never understood before, and I think that I still wouldn't understand completely if it wasn't for his coaxing, but yes.  He knew.  He compared the two for a reason.  He gave us the signs.  He gave us the knowledge.  He also gave us the strength to be able to endure.


So, even though I'm 11 days over the 'due date', His timing is perfect.  This baby will come when it is time for them to come.  I am praying that I won't have to get induced (the increased risk of hemorrhage is frightening) and I'd much rather she come on her own.  I have no control.  Only God does.  And His timing is perfect.

Overdue

So, it has now been 4 days since my due date has come and gone, and I'm ok with that.  Baby will come when baby is ready (and it feels like it will be soon.  I've got the lovely pelvic pains, Braxtons, and baby was squirming so much last night I was convinced she'd break my water!).  However, I am finding myself in a place of exhaustion coupled with longing to organize everything, put up shelves and picture frames, and do all the things that I do not really need to do while ignoring those I should (like farm bookwork... year end, how I hate thee).  I'd rather bake mini cupcakes to bring to the hospital for the nurses when I inevitably go in.  Or calculate how much wood I need to build shelves/picture ledges for our bedroom.  Or go to Ikea and just buy said shelves since it is cheaper than using real wood (and that is what I work with, not that mdf stuff) and get my hubby to put them up so we can put our collections out and about in our room instead of having empty bland walls and collections in boxes in the closet.  And hang cute little baby clothes as well.  Sigh.  I love little baby girl clothes.


I'm still getting up at 6:30am each morning to make sure everything is ready for school (and only going to bed close to midnight it seems... can never get to bed early... might explain my need for naps).  Yesterday I decided to do a little extra something in my fridge to help my daughter with packing her school lunches.  On Sundays I prep and bag 5 each of a snack, protein, veggie, fruit, and bread product (well... not always 5 of those as I don't think sandwiches sitting in the fridge all week are much fun).  I took a clear shoe box I recently purchased in a pack of 10 on sale (yay sales!) and made card-stock dividers to place each of the food items into (last week I just had them all sitting in one corner of the fridge... not very contained, and M was having trouble determining what she should put in her lunch).  This is what I came up with.

She is thrilled.  Hasn't used it yet as she had already packed today's lunch, but I'm convinced this will make things much easier over the coming weeks.  And I must say, those little snack baggies are fantastic for prechopped apples and other fruits.  I like using containers, but who has 25 tiny little containers kicking around?  Not me!

Now if only fruit wasn't so expensive!  I would love to do something besides apples.  I do 1/2 an apple per day, and usually one other fruit besides for the other 2 or 3 days (like berries, grapes if they were on sale which they haven't been, cantaloupe if on sale, which it recently was, etc).  Veggies... basically just celery and carrots.  We haven't had peppers or cukes or anything in the house for  a long time, and she has been asking for broccoli now.

Speaking of organizing, I also recently organized and labelled my pantry containers (trashed a bunch of old stuff), and this morning I went through all my lids and got rid of a LOT of them.  The cabinet is so nice and clean in there now!  Got rid of some jars, too.  I should just put the jar lids on each of the jars and get rid of the rest of them.  I think I have twice as many lids as jars right now.  And last week I organized my recipes!  So happy!  The recipe box was overhauled and I made dividers for it.  Trashed at least 1/3 of what was in there.  As for the binder, I have no idea how much I got rid of, but it was a considerable pile.  Now to get rid of recipe books... except that I like them so much.  :(

I love organized kitchens!  

The time is near

So... my due date for this lil girl is Friday.  Friday.  Three days from today.

Yikes! 

The last number of months have just flown by!  We still don't have everything set up like I really want for the baby... but that is ok.  I have a place for her to sleep, we have clothes and diapers, and we have about 8 or 9 meals in the deep freeze.  I'm feeling ok with all of that.  M keeps asking when the baby is coming, and I keep telling her that we don't know exactly when.  It will be a surprise for all of us. 

Nesting is starting up a bit.  I am exhausted and want to sleep all the time, however I also want to sew, and organize, and clean things I usually don't clean.  For example, this week I cleaned out all the kitchen drawers and reorganized them, including the basket and phone caddy on the counter.  I also took apart the kitchen faucet and cleaned that so it runs properly now.  I went through my recipe box and binder and trashed a whole bunch of recipes I'll never use, and added dividers to the box (finally).  I really want some shelves on the wall in our bedroom so we can put some things on there for baby (and our collections.  It would be nice to display them again instead of storing them in boxes), picture frames, maybe even some hooks to hang the cute little dresses we have for her so that they are out and visible instead of hiding in the drawer.  The chest of drawers we are using is not the biggest in terms of drawer space... they are very shallow drawers.  Which is ok for baby clothes, really.  I just need two drawers for all the cloth diapers... and they are stuffed into one right now :) . 

Silly thing is... we still haven't pegged a name yet.  We have a middle name (in honor of my grandmother.  My due date is on what would have been her 90th birthday, but she passed away in October from cancer).  We also haven't completely packed a birth bag.  I've got most of what I figure I'll need in there (toiletries, an outfit for baby, socks/slippers for me) but no snacks (don't have a clue what to put in anyway, and they do not stock that sort of thing well in the hospital I'm going to), no pills (I really should put a couple of days worth into a container for then... I'll still be needing my prenatal and calcium pills), nothing for 'helping' with labor (I wouldn't know what to pack!  I have no idea, and I've done this 3 times already).  I'm thinking that since I know at least 3 other women due in the same week as me, I probably should pack my birthing ball that I have at home here so I don't have to worry about needing one and someone else is using it.  I don't know... overkill, maybe?  What sorts of things would you pack?

Just feeling a little... underprepared.  And yet, I don't really care right now, because all I want to do is sleep (and maybe have a soak in the tub).  I am constantly exhausted.

Baby Shower Idea - Washcloth Candies

Cute little socks made into flower bouquets or even a corsage, diapers turned into cakes, all manner of cute baby things transformed into something a little bit different for a celebration of birth... these are the cute touches that add to baby showers just that little something.  Some people may not notice them at all, but that is ok.  It's about the mom, and the baby, and sometimes that little extra detail just adds a special something.

Since most of the items we did for the baby shower we found on pinterest (and then modified to our own liking), I will not post tutorials on them here.  However, the little washcloth candies I will!

I'm sorry the picture isn't very good.  I didn't actually take a closeup of them.

These are super simple to make!  I bought a pack of four baby washcloths from the local Dollarama.  I needed one for the diaper 'tricycle', so I turned the rest into these little candies.  First... a list of what you need.

Tools:
Scissors

Crafts:
Pack of washcloths
cheesecloth/tulle
ribbon

That's it.  Since the washcloths came packaged in white tulle already, and I saved the packaging from the sets I bought for the cloths I bought for cloth diapering, I just used those!

Take the cheesecloth and cut it to about 5 inches by 8 inches, as many as you need.  It doesn't have to be exact.  I just took two sets of the packaging from the cloths and trimmed off the seams, then cut the bottom open.  Just be sure that they are big enough to wrap around the coils of cloth with a bit of overlap.

Roll the cloths into a 'snake', and then coil them from the center outward to look like a little lollipops.  If you need to, you can stitch a little handstitch on the outside piece to hold it together.  I didn't find this necessary.

Wrap the tulle around the cloth circle.  You can do a stitch here to keep it closed, or tape it to hold 'for now'.  Take your pieces of ribbon and tie into bows on the tulle that is on the ends to make it look like the wrapped cellophane on candies.  Fluff the tulle after tying.

You're done!

Since the Dollarama cloth set came with a ribbon on the packaging, and I kept the packaging from the previous sets I bought, I just reused all the packaging from two sets to wrap these up!  I even took the seams I cut off and used them as 'ribbons', as they looked totally cute and old fashioned to me. 

A Blue Baby Shower

Back in March, we had a baby shower for my sister and her sweet little boy.  It ended up happening later than we would have liked due to there being so many babies born into the extended family in the year, as Baby J was over a month old already, but it worked out.  I was in charge of making the cookies and a number of the paper decorations.  I ended up going a little overboard in some things... I blame Pinterest.  (I thank God for my husband who helped me pack everything up as I had to bring it all to the church that morning with the kids in tow and he was still in the barn!  Felt a little crazy that morning, and was so glad I wasn't in charge of cake, only cookies, which are much easier to transport!)

 

Sorry about some of the photos being 'smudged'.  I took a number of pics before realizing that my son had played with my camera lens.  Again.  After cleaning it earlier that morning.  Sigh.

 

 The table you come to upon arriving.

 

I have ALWAYS wanted to do a diaper cake, and since I saw this little beauty on Pinterest I just HAD to make one!  I kind of wanted to do a guitar (since my sis and her hubby are very musically talented) but I had more of what I needed with this.  Since I was in charge of the diaper notes and had to buy the diapers anyway, I decided to do a diaper 'bike'.  Vroom vroom!  ;) 

Another adorable pinterest idea was for those who arrived to write little notes on the top back of the diapers with markers.  Silly things, lovely things, whatever they thought would cheer up the parents during late night diaper changes.  I took some cereal boxes and dressed them up with scrapbook paper and fabric inserts.  I was hoping these would also be good for in the nursery for holding diapers a little more cutely than the giant bags/boxes they come in.

Another idea I got at some point (remember when I said 'overboard' I wasn't kidding, as I was only to do the diapers, cookies, and cake decoration initially) I decided to make a guestbook picture frame.  I cut out over 50 little tiny hearts, brought some coordinating colored pen Sharpees, and had glue there for guests to sign a heart and place on the tree.  Before they left, I inserted the glass into the frame.  The little sign on the bottom has baby's name and the date of the shower.  And the tree I cut out of scrapbook paper so it would be well defined against the blue (their room colors were blue, brown, and white). 

My sister-in-law was in charge of the decorations for the food table.  She bought balloons and streamers, and we dutifully hung them all as a backdrop for the goodies.  My mom made cakes, and gluten free cakes as well since my sister and a cousin are gluten intolerant.  I made cookies and they were also gluten free.  I put a sign on them that apparently everyone but my sister noticed.  I sent some home with her, and it took awhile for her to be convinced that she could indeed eat them.  My daughter LOVED those cookies. 

The cake my mom made, with a little baby clothes line that I made at home. 

 

I love to do this sort of thing for almost all the baby showers I am part of.  The cookie tray has footprints that spell baby's name, sometimes weight (if enough room) and date of birth.

 

 The table again.  I love all the tablecloths my mom and SIL brought!  There was still more food to be put on the table, mostly done by both my mom and my SIL.  Four cakes, a veggie tray, fruit tray, coffee, cookies, and punch.

 Another extra I saw on Pinterest.  A 'shower' for the gifts.  Lots of gluing on fishing line for that one.  Packing it without tangling was an interesting endeavor.  And they got so many lovely gifts!  I adored all the hats and cute monkey onesies and outfits!  <3 p="">

 My mom made blue 'ducky' punch! 

Her nieces, helping my sister open the gifts. 

 M was really wanting to buy a gift for her cousin all on her own, so she saved a little money and found something to buy from the second hand store.  Then she really really wanted me to make a 'closet' for a card.  'A paper closet, mommy, with baby clothes inside' (I think she really liked seeing the little onesies and sleepers I was cutting out for the cake topper).  So, we did.  My sister was very excited about it, haha.

 And of course, the guest of honor!  I was lucky to get a pic of him on the floor when he was not being held, that little boy was snuggled by so many during the shower!  *love*

Here you can see the guestbook with all the little heart leaf signatures on it.  Oh, and tiny washcloth 'candies'.

I know this is late, and you are already half a year old, but we love you, baby J!  We can just see those gears in your head turning, and you smile so easily!  You always look thoughtful!  I look forward to seeing you grow!

 

News!

So... seeing as I haven't been updating as I should, I have more news! 

]

V

 

That's right!  Come January, our family is growing! 

We decided to wait to tell everyone until Father's day... when I was just over 9 weeks pregnant.  Honestly, this is the longest we've ever waited to tell close family.  We always told right away, but this time I wanted it to be a surprise.  Also, since I had virtually no symptoms (unlike with A where people were guessing already), I figured we could pull it off.  On the Saturday, we had some fun dressing up in Star Wars 'costumes' for daddy.  M was Leia, and Bram wore his Vader shirt.  We had cinnamon biscuit rolls for breakfast.

 

 Our family picture.  I'm wearing one of my husband's many SW shirts as I do not have any.  Baby A has a 'Stormpooper' onesie.  Haha... so cute.

 

We told the kids on Saturday evening, and M is very excited!  She says she hopes it is a boy.  Bram also is hoping for a boy because he 'doesn't want another girl in the house'.  I'm sure he'll love the baby regardless of if it is a boy or a girl, but I did find that kind of funny.

 

For the 'announcement' for my dad, I had a bit of fun.  Enter the paper oven.

Kind of unassuming, seeing as I like to bake with the kids often enough.  Inside, however, is the tell tale message!

 

 He picked up on it right away!  I don't know if you can see it, but the 'due date' is also on the clock on front of the oven.  1:16.

 

I did something a little different for my Father in law.  Cupcakes!  There are 4, and on the top of each one is the name of one of the kids, with #4 saying 'baby'.

Since we are on the topic of Father's day, this is the breakfast that awaited my husband for when he would get inside from the barn.  We had already left for church.  Under the 'blanket' is his present from us, and each of the cards the kids colored.

I made these and hid them from him.  I was going to actually make icing for the drawing, but decided I just wanted to use the chocolate sprinkles and chocolate chips.  The one on the left says 'You r a Trooper Dad' and the one on the right is supposed to be a trooper helmet.  He figured it out, and that is what matters.  :)

So, that was our fathers day (yeesh... two months late.  I seem to be playing bloggers catch up right now, haha).  Things have been busy here, so I'm sorry for the lack of updates.  I need to just take time off facebook and update more often, haha.

Hope you've all been having a great summer!  I can't believe it is almost over already.  :(