I Did A Thing - My Fasting Journey

I've been on a journey.  A health journey.  It's been... weird.  Let me tell you all about the last two weeks!

I've had some health issues since having my 8th baby that I was hoping would resolve on their own, but it looks like I need to do something to help them.  However, I don't even know what the problem is.  I talked to the doctor and they figure my issue is in the 'realm of normal', but it is NOT normal for me and it is NOT normal according to anyone unlucky enough to hear about it, so there's that.  Last week it looked like things might return to normal after having had 6 weeks of no sugar (3 of which had very little to no processed food), and then 2 weeks after that with only sugar on weekends.  Well... it didn't.  I very much had issues again, just later than expected.

So, I ended up eating a lot more chocolate than I should have... not more than I usually did before I started this journey, but still more than my body was used to.  I experienced what felt like a panic feeling in my chest Saturday evening.  It felt horrible.  I hoped to sleep it off, but alas, I woke with that feeling still there.  That did it for me... I was starting the bone broth fast I had been looking to do right that very day.

Day 1 - Sunday

I had a bunch of chicken bone broth we had made from the roosters we raised over summer, so that was perfect.  It actually tastes really good, and still had a nice amount of fat on it.  I had a cup (mixed with water) at breakfast.  I did really want eggs, though.  

Lunch was more tricky, as my husband picked up pizza for him and the kids (we still haven't gotten the oven we bought as ours blew on Good Friday right after we finished making supper).  It smelled so good!  But no!  I didn't have any!  And supper... ugh.  Broth by itself with added salt.  It was good, but not as good as all the smells of all the food the rest of my family got to eat!  I was actually surprised I didn't feel super hungry, to be honest.  I would have thought my stomach would be ravenous!  Drank a lot of water, though.  

Day 2 - Monday

I woke up feeling a bit under the weather.  Took some measurements and found I lost 1.5lb (started at about 151 or 152).  Didn't go for my walk outside (it looked very cold, and I didn't feel great).  I started making breakfast for everyone along with my bone broth.  I felt a bit weak for only a bit, but after having lemon water (yes, I allowed myself to mix a bit of lemon juice in water) I felt better.  The hardest thing in the day was having to make everyone's food without being able to eat any of it myself!  I did have a slight headache and took ibuprofen for it.  My stomach was growling a LOT!  I did some more research to hopefully feel better about this whole thing.  Found out about autophagy (when the body does a 'deep clean' and uses damaged cells to make new ones, which is what I want to hopefully fix my issues with my gut), and that the bone broth was likely stopping that from happening.  Decided that next day would be water only (with salt if needed).  Had a few moments where I just needed to sit and rest.  I did still make sure I got my 5000+ steps that I've been working toward (I actually hit 6500), but I mostly used my rebounder and went for a walk later on.  It was cold outside.  Also... I feel like my kidneys are working overtime!

Day 3 - Tuesday

Twas a busy day!  I had to get the kids breakfast and be out of the house by 10am, and I needed to make the sourdough bread before that, too.  I slept in of course, and so I didn't do my walk outside again.  Bounced on the rebounder while they ate since I was only drinking water.  No lemon, either.  Just water.  I think I had 10 or 11 cups through the day (it helps if I carry my cup with me everywhere).  The girls were baking for a bake sale the next day with my aunt at her place.  They had a great time (and all the food smelled soooo good).  I visited with my parents.  I got home a bit later than expected and got my bread baked at S&J's house down the driveway from us.  They offered to let me use their oven until we got our new one for making my bread, and I am so very thankful!  I rebounded most of my 8200 steps that day, but I found it odd that my lower back was hurting a lot!  I wasn't as hungry as I expected to be.  My legs felt strange though, kind of heavy, almost like a nerve was being pinched.  I had a hot pack on my back and did a belly massage to try to get things to move if that was the issue.  I honestly have no idea.  I did have a few times where I felt rather weak, but I sat for a bit and it went away.  Also, I had a very slight consistent headache.  My back was the worst, though.  My kidneys are really pushing things today!

Day 4 - Wednesday

I am coming out of the fast.  I weighed myself and was within 2 lbs of my target!  147lbs!  I know this likely won't last, but I'm still excited!  I haven't been down here in a good number of years.  My waist is down to 30 inches as well (but my belly size is still a long way from where I want it).  I had lemon water with salt first thing, and went for my walk.  I managed to get 7300 steps over the day.  I made breakfast for everyone, but since I'm coming off a fast, I had broth.  Again.  It is so boring I could cry.  I felt really yucky after drinking it, too, which I found rather strange.  But I did have energy, and got the girls to the bake sale that morning which was thankfully only 2 hours long.  I drank a lot of water again today.  Lunch I had broth again, but this time I added some cooked veggies from the fridge and a frozen spinach cube.  It was nice to have something a bit more.  Supper was broth once more, but I added broccoli, and when it was boiling I very slowly whisked in a beaten egg.  It was almost like noodles!  I enjoyed that!  I am wondering if my gut is going to be feeling better after all of this is done.  I do think my kidneys are loving all this water!  Sheesh!  

Day 5 - Today

I weighed in at 146 lbs, and my waist was at 29 inches first thing, with my belly button down to 34!  I'm super happy, although I do realize that things will likely shift up as I eat more and my colon refills.  I just finally feel like I don't look 5 months pregnant!  I'm continuing to slowly add to my meals.  Breakfast was 3 eggs scrambled with a spinach cube and a couple tablespoons of frozen avocado.  I also ate a couple of frozen strawberries and 1/3 cup homemade Greek yogurt.  Lunch was broth... again.  I cried when I realized I had little else I could eat.  I really wanted bread and peanut butter.  My oldest is gluten intolerant, so I made the last of my broth into soup with veggies and an egg again, adding rice to her portion only, while getting the glutenous leftovers to the kiddos.  I added a quarter of an apple chopped up with a tablespoon of natural peanut butter as a dessert for myself.  Supper I made grilled tuna cheese sandwiches on my sourdough bread.  I had one half of one, and then tuna wrapped in lettuce.  I want to see if the bread will make me bloat or not.  I ended up eating my baby's half as well, as she didn't want it, and I was NOT about to waste it!  So I got more bread than intended.  Ah well.  I also had chopped carrots.  My legs still feel funny, and I am very tight in my shoulders.  I really want a massage.  I think I'll be sleeping with the hot pack on my back again tonight.  I am wondering if the bread made me bloat as my waist and belly were each up one inch at the end of the day.  I managed to hit 10,000 steps!  I'm still drinking lots of water, at least 8-10 cups, but my kidneys seem to have returned a little closer to normal.  I am trying to track my food with the Lose It app again.  I am hoping to stay low carb.

As for my health, I think I may need to talk to my doctor about some of these issues I'm having again.  I'm afraid I may have fibroids.  It would explain my distended abdomen, my one major health issue, and the fact that I seem to have organs not in the places they are supposed to be.  I'm still working on my ab separation.  It hasn't really improved much since the last time I mentioned it.  I do think I need to do these exercises daily, likely for the rest of my life.  

Anyway, I am not quite there yet, but these are the 101 list items that I am ALMOST hitting!

50.  Waist (standing) down to 32" around belly button (30" natural waist) (I got under 30 for my waist, but a ways from the 32 belly)

51.  Hit 145 lbs (SOOOO close!)

I did get these two, though!  Yay!

OLD list items 

11. Get back to pre-pregnancy weight (under 150lbs)

12. Bring down waist to under 30 inches

That's all from me for now.  I do hope to post a 101 update soon, but this month has been crazy (it doesn't help not having an oven.  Been getting creative with the cooking tools and stovetop all month).

Edit to add:  Today is now Saturday.  I ate as much like normal (except still omitting processed food and desserts/sugar) Friday (although my caloric intake was lower than usual).  I weighed myself today and am still at 146 lbs.  My waist went up a little bit, likely because I'm digesting grains again.  I had a piece of my regular pizza yesterday to see if I get bloating or digestive issues from it as I didn't notice anything from the sourdough, and it seems to be fine.  The cheese was fine.  Butter is fine.  I need to try milk next.  My stomach still doesn't like raw bell peppers, though.  I think this is a great way for me to figure out if there are any foods that have been causing issues.  

Finished 42 Days No Sugar

Here is my latest update on our no sugar challenge!  Honestly, there is not much new to tell... and yet I will ramble as usual, haha.

We have had little to no change at all in the last two weeks... neither me nor my husband.  He is down 2 inches and 4lbs total, and I am going up and down in both inches and weight (but it seems to average about 2inches and 4lbs loss since 6 weeks ago).  It is actually really disappointing to say the least.  We did stop over this last weekend and I gained 2 lbs according to that alone.  Sigh.  I didn't even eat terribly much sweets, although the one gathering was Chinese takeout, so that might have done it for me.  My stomach was not happy at all today.  I also had digestive upset through the weekend after eating at the gathering, so that's too bad.  My husband can fit into a pair of pants that he hasn't been able to button for a very long time now, though!  That was interesting to find out!

Interesting bit was day 40.  We had a membership meeting and we fast as a church membership for the day leading up to the meeting and then break the fast as a body afterwards.  I had a lot of cooking and baking to do throughout the day and forgot to drink water as regularly as I should have (although I still did get 8 cups by the end of the day).  At some point around making supper for the kids, I recognized that I was going to be in for a world of hurt if I didn't get something in soon, so I cooked a cup of broth for myself.  I ended up feeling so sick by the time we had that meeting that I could not eat.  My husband brought me some fruit which I did get down, but my head was pounding and I felt so nauseous that I couldn't get up to get anything else.  I'm not sure why this was this way, but some think it may have been a further detox that was occurring.  I may need to rethink how I do the fasting in the future.  I did wake up feeling much better!  

This weekend, being Easter, we had sugar.  My daughter and I baked a lemon sour cream cake for my husband's family gathering and I had a tiny slice which was SOO good.  I love lemon!  I had lemon delight at my family gathering.  I also had my first bit of chocolate in 6 weeks on Saturday.  Surprisingly, it wasn't as good as I remembered.  It also wasn't the 'good' dark chocolate I usually like, it was a part of a dark chocolate 'orange' that my husband got me for Valentine's day that we opened for the kids later on in March.  I don't have cravings lately, and I'm not terribly hungry.  Oh, we had some ice cream cake my husband wanted to save from my daughter's birthday party in March as well.  I actually regretted that.  The ice cream felt like it was bubbling in my stomach and I was burping all night.  I don't think it was worth it.

I started back up with no sugar again today, and I aim to continue with my husband over the week to cut sugar and processed foods for a while, giving ourselves space on weekends to have those things.  Not sure I will, though.  Today I felt very yucky and I do not like that one bit.

Anyone heard of the bone broth 72 hour fast?  I will admit, after the issues I had Tuesday, I am contemplating something like this to see if I can detox fully NOT in public at all.  There are digestive issues in my family, and I dealt with a lot of them as a teenager, so perhaps this is something that could help me.  Not sure.  Right now I just need to appreciate that I've been eating healthier for a while now, and there will be benefits to that which I cannot currently see.  And that's ok.  Even if it makes me sad that I'm not seeing any change and I still can't have chocolate and I open the cabinet for no reason whatsoever just to close it and grab some water instead.  Sigh.

Am I seriously getting another sugar withdrawal after only having some sugar 2 days?

The One Week Detox

 Hello again!  I am happy to report that we finished our one week 'ramped up' detox plan as of yesterday!  I am still continuing with no sugar, and there are a number of things we started last week I will continue to do (like the workouts, the lemon water, and the organic peanut butter), but now at least I can have corn again, and noodles.  I'm making chicken noodle soup tonight using the broth from the roosters we butchered last fall.  They make REALLY good soup... but there has to be noodles!

Anyway, I took my measurements and I am actually down another 2lbs (4lbs total)!  I still have about 6lbs until my goal weight, but I'm very happy about that!  I measured my diastasis and it's about 2 fingers wide now!  After only 1 week!  YAY!  As for my waist, it is down to 30 inches at the narrowest standing up, but my natural waist is at 31.5 inches (and I'd like for that measurement to hit 30).  My husband is down another 1.5 inches (so 2 inches total) and 2lbs as of about 4 days ago (he was happy because it was just after eating that he weighed himself, so he didn't expect to see any difference).  

One of the major health issues I was having seems to be resolved!  I will give it a few more days to be certain, and I won't go into too many details here, but I am very pleased with how the last two days has been for me and I expect that I will continue in this health journey for some time, if only for that one benefit alone!  That said, I have been dealing with headaches and cravings again yesterday and today.  The cravings might be related in part to the magnesium.  I don't have cravings for chocolate if I remembered to take Mg the night before.  I need to try to remember to take the magnesium tonight.  (note added March 27 - The issue is not totally resolved, but it is definitely improved, so that's good).

I asked my husband if he noticed any health differences in himself lately, and he has said he only noticed the weight.  I am hoping to see him fall asleep less in random areas, as that will prove his sleep has improved at night.  That is one of the biggest things I hope to see.  I'm not sure I will be able to see a measured improvement in his liver health myself, but it seems that weight, liver health, and sleep apnea all kind of feed off each other.  That said, we will continue to monitor the things that we can in the next two weeks as we continue in this journey towards our better health.

Whole Healing Challenge

I haven't been keeping up with this on the blog.  Oops.  I also haven't been doing these challenges as well as I could.  A little preoccupied, I suppose.  Anyway, here are the latest 4 weeks.

Week 10 - Forgiveness:  Repent
I started this one rather late as I didn't see it until the end of the week, so I did it in conjunction with the next week.  Anyway, this week I was to spend time in prayer, asking what I needed to repent of.  And I found a few things that needed adjusting in my heart.  I won't get into them here, but mainly I wanted to be more loving of those I didn't understand, specifically those who hate me just because I believe differently.  This has been tested a lot the last few weeks with some of the stuff that has come up in our area recently.  It has not been an easy journey, as I need to continue to focus on God's love, not my own.

Week 11- Give up Control
This was a big one!  I've always been a control freak... although having kids has shown me that I cannot control everything, nor do I even want to.  I mean, having to control things really is a lot of work, stress, and not much fun either.  We were asked on face book to write these things down ... "I surrender _____" and then shred the paper.  I didn't do that (not sure why, would have been a good exercise).  Instead I wrote about them in my diary.  I wanted to do one per day, but only did 4.  The farm, my children, our future, and my eczema (well, more specifics to each as well, but this is sufficient for the blog, ha ha).  It is not easy some days... I think I have actually taken some of these things back, and I need to surrender them on a daily basis.

Week 12 - Rest
Oi.  This was talking about removing chaos, saying no to too many extras, making time for rest/sleep, and letting go of things that don't serve me or my family.  For me, the most difficult thing was sleep... going to bed earlier and trying to nap.  I have already been saying no to a lot (because I CANNOT physically do these extras).  I also need to prune my to-do list.  This is something I did, and am attempting to do more and more.  Getting to bed earlier is still a difficult thing however, and I'm not really sure I did as well on this as I could have.

Week 13 - Eat more Green Foods
The challenge was to eat one green salad per day.  I actually did great on this one!  The hardest thing was to make sure that I had greens in the house.  I only didn't have salad on Sunday.  Otherwise I had at least one per day... 4 days I had 2 salads (and a green smoothie on one day as well).  I wish I would have had more greens today, but we did have vegetables either way,  so I'm glad about that.  Now to continue this.

Week 14 will start this week.  I look forward to it.

As for other 'healing' things I have been attempting -

Oil Swishing - been doing this for 2 weeks now, and I'm not sure it's been doing anything, in all honesty.  To do so, you take about 1 tablespoon of coconut oil (other oils work too, apparently) and swish it around in your mouth from 15-20 minutes, first thing in the morning before you drink or eat anything.  Then you brush your teeth and scrape your tongue, and floss.  Then you continue on with your day.  It's not a fun thing, but it isn't difficult either, and I generally do it while feeding our daughter, changing her diaper, and doing devotions.

No Shampoo - Actually, also no conditioner or soap.  Sounds odd, I know.  I've been using baking soda mixed with water as my 'shampoo' and apple cider vinegar as 'conditioner'.  I also used baking soda as a 'soap' of sorts (it's a deodorizer).  I have been doing this 2 weeks as well, and my skin is softer.  My hair feels so much nicer now that I'm over that initial 'greasy' feeling that comes with no longer having your hair stripped of its natural oils by the shampoo.  I actually have some volume to my hair!  It is great!  And yes, it is clean, too!  As for lotion... haven't been using any for a long time now since it all affects me negatively.  However, my eczema has now been showing up in a few other places.  I'm not sure why... since I've been reducing my toxins going on my body!  Only thing I can think of is that maybe my body is sort of detoxing and removing toxins through the skin is causing more of a breakout.  We'll see.  I've been trying to eat coconut oil on crackers or toast or something as it is supposed to help eczema when consumed as well.  I also use it as moisturizer.

Water - I need to drink more... yup... but I've been having 6 cups a day at least, plus one cup of chamomile tea.  It also helps the baby to sleep at night.

Sugar - epic fail.  I've still just been eating about everything in sight.  I can't help it, I feel half starved all the time.  I am trying to pick healthier items, but lately it has been difficult.  I made some cookies with no sugar (date paste, great stuff), but they did have chocolate chips.  I made some white cookies for Easter and have eaten some.  OK, a lot.   And other desserts on Sundays especially... major fail.  But our meals are still healthy and less processed.  I think this will be something we continue.  OK, I really want to continue (there will be the odd day where we won't do as well).  The sugar thing is over now, but I only really made it 55 days.  Sigh.  The last 35 was off and on.

Sleep - Fail again.  I'm still up and it's 11pm.  Time to try to go to bed.  But first, gotta try to get A to sleep.  She does well at night once we get her to fall asleep.  Right now we generally get 6-7 hours between feedings during the night!  It's nice.  Really nice!  My husband doesn't even wake up at all during the night when I do have to, because she doesn't wake crying... I wake up to her sucking her fist half asleep, and then I feed her anyway. 

Bedtime for me!  Hope you all have a great week (and I'm looking forward to finding out what this week's challenge will be).

Week 5: Read the Label

Week 5 of our Wholly Healing challenge is to read the labels on all our food before buying it. You can find the starting post on it on My Wings are Made of Faith, here.
She also has a lot of really good posts on her blog about food labels, some of the specific ingredients and what their effects are, and items you may not suspect having lots of toxic chemicals in them.  I recommend taking a look!

I will honestly say that this week didn't look like it would be much of a challenge for me.  I generally read all food labels anyway as I've been trained to do so since my dad could not eat MSG, and I discovered for myself that I also had a low tolerance of that additive.  So, we scanned all labels for MSG when shopping since I can remember.  I remember reading a book that had a list of names tha MSG would fall under... I don't know the list myself, but at that point I really started to look at food labels closer and just avoided putting things into my cart that had ingredients I didn't recognize, or couldn't pronounce.  I even started viewing skin creams and lotions as my eczema was reacting to so many things as well.  I can proudly say that I no longer use hand lotion... at all.  Instead, we use baby oil (the one that contains nothing more than mineral oil), an eczema specific body butter (with only three ingredients, all of which are natural and non-toxic), and on occasion, avocados, or the skin of a banana peel (no joke... look it up, it can heal all sorts of interesting skin issues). 

I'm really looking at 'banning' sun lotion in our house as well, as it contains all sorts of known carcinogens (parabens, anyone?) and the kids will not be getting it on them either.  I'll have to find some other forms of protection, I'm sure, but for now drinking lots of water and wearing hats, and sticking to shady areas has helped immensly.  Kids vitamins contain garbage as well!  It's scary!  And all that baby food... I will be making baby food with this baby again.  I did it as much as I could bear with the other two.  Well, for my son I was at the point of just mashing our foods with a fork instead of doing the whole 'blender' thing.  Way easier, and he didn't have any texture issues.

However, this whole 'reading labels' thing means I'm finding even more foods that I am not comfortable getting anymore... and that means making more things in my kitchen.  Including the idea of making my own lotions/creams/cleansers/toothpaste/laundry soap... yeah.  I'm sort of ok with it if it means only making it once in a long time, and lasts a long time... and costs less.  Which it looks like it will for a lot of things.  But the time... I am finding less and less time to do things for myself anymore.

I also recently watched a documentary called "Hungry for Change".  It's actually really good!  I enjoyed watching it, and learning from it.  I recommend it!  It brings food into perspective.  I think the biggest thing I liked about it was it saying that these companies don't actually care about the people they are feeding.  All they care about is making money.  So they add things to make you an addict to their product, so they can keep you as a customer.  There were many other interesting things talked about (like the whole FDA approval and whatnot... I seriously recommend watching this).

Anyway, this leads me back to week one of our challenge... yeah, I'll be updating on that regularly.

I've noticed a number of other changes in my body over the last week or so... things that may have already been happening that I just didn't take any note of at all until now.  I don't actually need to use lotion.  Usually in winter my skin is so dry, and with how cold things have been, I would suspect that this year would be really bad, but it isn't.  I have also noticed my feet look better!  Yeah, sounds strange, but it's true.  My nails have been growing longer (to the point that I forgot to clip them, and they were so long that one finally broke and I HAD to clip them all).  My hair doesn't seem to be benefitting much yet... and I know I should probably change my shampoo/etc.  And get a haircut.

Another thing I have noticed... and this one will sound... strange.  I don't have gas anymore.  Yeah... gross, I know, but I don't!  I have heartburn still, but no intestinal distress!  It's incredible!  I don't think I want to eat sugar again if this is what it means!  And I want to change things so we are even healthier in our home... like less flour.  But it is not going to be easy. 

So, that's the lowdown.  The whole food thing is really interesting to me, and I think that eating it in the form God created it in, or at least as close to that form as we can, is best for our bodies!  Too bad the rest of the world is so focussed on money to see that they are destroying human bodies by creating 'food like products' that are slowly killing us not only physically, but mentally and emotionally... and spiritually too.

So... I CAN eat these foods, if I wish.  But... I don't want to anymore.  What a revelation!

Week 3 - The armor of God

So, a while back we finished week 3 of the 52 week challenge.  I know I was going to come on and recap more often, but things have been really busy in the house.  Prepping my own food for every meal and trying to start freezing meals for when baby comes is proving to take up a lot of my time... and energy.  Baby feels to have dropped a bit, making getting up and down a task and a half, haha. 

Remember week 1?  No sugar?  I am not struggling with this one so much anymore.  I haven't gained any weight over the last three weeks (which suprised me as usually I gain about a lb a week in the last two months of pregnancy), and am eating much healthier.  The weight is shifting to belly as baby grows, and their movements are stronger and more frequent.  No sugar lows anymore, which is wonderful, and I do not actually crave sugary things anymore (besides dark chocolate... I did cave one day and ate a piece).  I'm spending a lot more time in my kitchen however, which I'm not so sure I care for right now as I'd like to get into my workshop and build a desk extension for a crafting and sewing space in my office... but I'm happy to be making healthier foods which not only benefit me, but my whole family.

Week 2 was forgiving oneself.  I am happy to report that many of the issues I was having have pretty much gone!  I still have to stop myself on occasion, but realizing what my problem was was half the battle!  I no longer have nightmares about this individual (yay!) and I only have 'breakdowns' when forcing myself to do farmbooks (which cause me stress no matter what I try to do it seems).  My husband has noticed a difference in my emotional capacity to handle things as well, and although still exhausted and stressed (haven't been sleeping properly the last while), I'm not crying over every little thing any more.  At least, not as often as I was... :)

Anyway, week 3 was to put on the armor of God each morning... from Ephesians 6.  You can find the starting post on it on My Wings are Made of Faith, here.

Wow.

I have often struggled with the prospect of actually putting on the armor of God.  I mean, knowing what it is is one thing, but how do you actually put on such an armor?  This week, God has revealed bits and pieces of his armor to me and they've taken on new meaning.

First, I needed to remember the verses so I could think about them throughout the day.  I'd memorized this passage many years ago, and I'm so thankful for that as it has helped me tremendously in remembering what the armor of God is.  Then, I just prayed that God would help me put on this armor, and as I did so he daily revealed something new to me.

I know it is probably different for everyone, but this is what I've found.

The Belt of Truth - We are first told to gird the belt of truth around our waist.  I just always looked at this as 'a belt of truth', but never really thought about the item or what it really was.  We use belts to hold up our pants.  Rather embarrassing to have the pants fall down, right?  Well, I figured that God was telling me that the truth, even if it may seem embarrassing, is actually much more effective at keeping our integrety intact than not telling the truth.  Seems simple enough.  And really, we already know that, right?  The other thing He brought to mind goes along the same lines of the things we are to think about (whatever is true, noble, kind, pure, excellent, praiseworthy... etc).  The belt sits around our waist, just above our large intestine... whose main focus is to digest our food.  It expells the waste while filtering out the good stuff and sending it through the intestine walls to the blood, which then feeds our bodies.  I know belts don't usually associate with intestines, but I found this striking revelation.  I need to do like my intestine does... whatever I'm fed I need to digest, look at what is true, and what is not, and use the truth to 'feed' my body/mind/heart while discarding the rest.  That's a lot of work for a belt to do, and it probably seems like one of the least important parts of 'armor' when you look at it.  However, it must have been mentioned first for a reason.

The Breastplate of Righteousness-  A breastplate covers some of our most vital organs.  I felt that God was telling me that I needed to remember that His righteousness covers me and protects me.  I have nothing to fear.  I am saved, and His righteousness covers me.

The Boots of Readiness from the Gospel of Peace-  This was another item I've always struggled with.  I've never really tried to understand it.  However, I felt that we are in a place in our lives right now where this one really hit home.  Readiness... boots of readiness.  I need to be ready to follow my Lord wherever He leads, on His time, when He says.  Right now, I am in a place where I dont know what we are supposed to do next, and I don't know when things are going to happen.  This is a very difficult thing for me.  I've been doing what I can to prepare for one thing or the other... both, actually.  We don't know if we'll be moving... so I'm prepping this house for when baby comes in such a way that I'm not attached.  I'm also reorganizing and working with our current items to ready them for a quick packing, if it is so needed.  I felt relief when realizing what the boots of readiness really are.  I will follow God, and by doing so I will feel peace.  I will walk in peace, knowing that his leading is where I need to go.  If I do not feel peace, I need to stop, re-evaluate, and find out if I'm actually following Him or my own agenda. 

The Shield of Faith- This one stuck out as well.  When you hold a shield, where do you hold it?  In front of you!  It does no good at 'quenching the fiery arrows of the evil one' if it's beside or behind you.  So, no matter where I go, I need to make sure my Faith in God and in his leading of me is before me... or else when the darts come flying, I'll shy away.

The Helmet of Salvation-  This one was simple.  No matter what, I am secure in the knowledge of my salvation in Christ.  I am saved, no matter how many mistakes I make, no matter what I do.  He loves me, He saved me, and I need not fear.

The Sword of the Spirit-  The only offensive weapon.  The Word of God.  I need to know his Word, and I need to dwell on it so I can strike down the evil one when he attacks me close range.  Only the Word will be able to remove him.  I can stand there and use all the other armor pieces to protect myself, but even the strongest of warriors with no weapon will become exhausted... and none of the armor pieces protects my back.  So, I need the Word of God to be my sword so I can cut down the enemy and triumph.

I am so happy to see these pieces of armor take on meaning for me!  I'm sure the meanings will change and adjust as my life does to bring new things to light as new challenges face me, but right now I am thrilled to be able to put on the armor each morning, knowing what it means for me.  I may fail some days, I may not remember all the pieces, but I will try, and God will help me.

Here is Wings of Faith week 3 recap.

Week 4 is Do Not Fear.  I have been having a tougher time getting started on this one... but God has been revealing my fears to me through the week.  I hope to take some time to sit down and work on this one today during the kids nap time.  I need to do this more than nap myself, haha.

A 52 Week Journey

Hello, everyone, and welcome to 2013!

I've never been one on New Years Resolutions... not really anyway.  I make 'resolutions' throughout the year.  I am a goal setter, and I very rarely do not meet my goals because I make them such a huge priority, especially if I write them down.

Actually, I sometimes let these goals take over and run my emotional state of being.  I set weekly goals, usually containing something for a much larger goal I wish to accomplish at some point.  However, if I do not complete everything on my weekly list, I am very down on myself.  And even more so now that I'm pregnant.  I am finding I HAVE to make my lists shorter and have easier tasks on them, less physically draining ones, as I am very very exhausted lately.

On January 2nd, in the evening, I was made aware of a 52 week wholly healing journey by a cousin of mine on Facebook.  She didn't bring it to me directly, I just happened across it, and I felt very strongly that this was something I should do.  Not only is this going to focus on physical healing, but emotional, spiritual, and mental healing as well.  The first week was already underway as it started Dec 31... and it started with a 90 day sugar detox.  (Thanks to My Wings are Made of Faith and her blog on healing!)

I looked at it and said... "I need to do this".

Each week we get a download journal to print off and fill out as we go.  I will also be journalling my progress in my regular devotional journal as things happen.  I decided this morning, as we start on our second week challenge, that I would like to keep track of some thoughts and things on my blog as well.  My blog really is all over the place, isn't it?  :)

The first week is officially over now... although the challenge lasts for 90 days, not just 7.  That will be the more difficult part of things, I'm sure... managing to continue.  But I will.  I'm determined.

Want to know how my first week (or should I say, first 4 days) of no sugar went?  Well TOO BAD... you're going to hear about it anyway (hahaha).

Day one wasn't actually as hard as I thought.  I still had a bunch of treats in the cupboard that I'd LOVE to have (mint chocolate is one of my weaknesses... well, mint and chocolate are bad enough by themselves, but together...).  I saw the stuff I wanted... and closed the cabinet door and grabbed a glass of water.  I found myself snacking on carrots with a new dressing I came up with myself (ranch that doesn't include mayo... as mayo has sugar in it), and eating celery with natural peanutbutter (which was easy, seeing as we've switched a lot of these sugary things out over the last four years already for no sugar alternatives).  I've been drinking lots more water (instead of snacking) and eating hardboiled eggs again.  I want to make green smoothies, but we need to purchase spinach for that.  I've also been eating the homemade buns I make as they use honey instead of sugar to make the yeast work.  Otherwise, all the food items that contain sugar, glucose, fructose, glucose solids, honey, etc, I will not eat or put into the meals we eat.  It hasn't been as hard as I thought.  Apparently I've been doing a lot of that already for over a year, and so this challenge looks to be a little easier than I was imagining.  The hardest part is no desserts or sweet snacks.  And I LOVE my desserts.  But that's ok. 

My hardest day was yesturday as it was the first time we were not home all day.  I really wanted to have some of those cookies at the church in the morning.  I found myself grabbing a small piece of jalapeno cheese, not knowing it was as spicy as it was, and guzzled a cup or two of water shortly afterward.  It did still my craving for those cookies though.  I also had to fight my urge to eat the cookies and candies (especially the chocolate mint ones) at my parents house, but I didn't give in!  Yay!  Perhaps I can be strong in this, even while pregnant!

I've noticed some major physical changes in my body since I started this.  Already.  And it's only been 4 days (I'm on day 5).  First, my eczema is so much better!  I can hardly believe how much nicer my hand looks!  It is still itchy at times, but I was expecting it to get worse before it would get better!  Especially with all the sugar I was eating before.  Another is the exhaustion.  I am even more physically depleted of energy than before.  I was actually expecting the opposite... although that will probably take a while before I see that happen.  I am very drained, I can hardly stand at times, and so I reach for some tuna, or a hard boiled egg when that happens.  I am drinking a lot more water, and I've had a cup of tea every evening (in the place of all the sugar I was eating after supper).  I have less heartburn when I drink the peppermint tea in the evening, and I've been sleeping better.  My skin is softer as well, something I wasn't really expecting.  I'm hoping that perhaps the redness in my cheeks (bumps and whatnot, something that has been making me feel super ugly as of late) will clear up in time with all of this as well!  As for the baby... I've been having regular Braxton's as of late.  Especially with cutting out the sugar and drinking the Raspberry and Peppermint teas.  I never really drank tea before this.  I'd have a cup a month if lucky.  So I'm thinking my uterus is prepping early, hopefully making my labor later on less painful and easier?  I can hope, right?

Anyway, I was excited to see what the second week would bring.  You can find the link here.

We are to work on forgiveness.  More specifically, forgiving ourselves.

This is big for me right now.  I've been battling myself the last month, I've been drained both emotionally, and physically, and now realizing that I'm not doing so well spiritually myself.  I want to get closer to God, but I feel incapable of even knowing how.  This 'forgive yourself' thing seems to have opened my eyes a little.  I've been terribly hard on myself the last while.  I'm feeling stressed about not having things ready for baby, and guilty for being so exhausted and napping almost daily instead of working on getting the basement fixed up for storage so we can start reworking the bedrooms upstairs.  I feel guilty that my kids have to still share a bedroom, even after we rework things.  I feel guilt over my own actions in this pregnancy... my breakdowns, my emotions, my physical state of being (example... I would eat whatever sugar I could find in the house, even things I never would normally go for, instead of eating the healthy things I know are better for me and baby).  I feel bad for disconnecting myself from people... including my own husband and kids.

I know that a lot of this is actually related to my exhaustion and hormonal changes as I'm in my third trimester, but I did not remember things being this bad with my other pregnancies.  And I feel that I am not a good mom or wife because of my inability to control my emotions.

I am looking forward to doing the challenge this week.  I'm really hoping to change my emotional state of being as of late, as it has not been a very nice roller coaster ride.  And I'm hoping that these coming weeks will bring with them a better relationship with my spouse and kids as I am able to put things aside emotionally and see things in a more positive light.

Days 10-12

The remainder of my cleanse... day by day.

Day 10 - We had sushi for supper tonight.  There is sugar in the sushi rice, but not much, so I figured it would be OK.  It was a fun and different meal, which was real nice.  For lunch I made my own salsa (avocados, red pepper, tomatoes, onions, garlic, lime juice, olive oil, and spices) and had it with browned beef and mixed veggies cooked together.  And lettuce.  Lots of lettuce.  It was surprisingly good for something without cheese or sour cream!  I've also been finding that I can walk through grocery stores and not eye all the chocolate and processed foods wishing I could eat them again.  To be honest, the food I've been eating is so much tastier now... and good for me!  I feel free.  I'm not sure how else to put it.  But I am still looking forward to not having to watch out all the time for what I eat.  I cheated again today... more dark chocolate.  Didn't do my workout, neither.

Day 11 - Today's foods were the same old, same old, again.  Adding sweet potatoes to regular potatoes makes them tasty, though, and I dont' need anything but butter and salt with them.  I did have some chocolate again today.  Ah well. 
I can really see a difference in my body... I'm sure I must have lost inches.  I'll find out on Saturday morning.  I'm sleeping through the night better!  

Day 12 - I'm done!  Yippee!  What a journey!  We had chicken strips and 'fries' with chopped veggies for supper today... all healthy... grilled chicken cut in strips with spices, and baked sweet potatoes and regular ones cut as fries.  Yummers.  And my smoothie made it to today, too!  Felt like I was eating junk food, without any of the junk!  My mom came over briefly today, and she said it looked as though I've lost weight, too!  And I feel good in my belly dance costumes... which I made yesterday (will have to post on that later on).  I'm very regular... up to twice a day now.  And while sweets still look good (as does bread and cheese), I want to make sure they are no longer my go-to snack items.  I don't crave them anymore, neither.  One thing I was hoping for, which didn't happen, was having my eczema clear up completely.  It's down, but not gone.  Ah well.  I'm sleeping better, looking better, feeling better, I have more energy, and I'm not addicted to anything.  Life is good!

So... anyone else doing a cleanse?  Or have you done one in the past?  Feel free to share!

Thanks for reading through my cleanse with me!  :)  I'm glad to be done!

Cleanse - Days 8&9

Day 8 - I did not cheat at all, today.  I managed to find the energy I needed to clean the whole house, too.  Not to mention caring for the kids.  We made spaghetti squash and meat sauce for supper.  Meals are getting really creative... the kids loved it.  One squash was not enough for us.  We'll need a larger one next time.  Breakfast is still the hardest for me... I'm used to milk and toast in my breakfasts.  I have no more joint pain.  I still can't wait till this is over.  I did make another green smoothie today... we used up the last of our spinach, blueberries, red pepper, celery, and tomatoes today.  Good thing I don't need them tomorrow... although a shopping trip is soon needed.

Day 9 - Today I caved and had a little bit of dark chocolate... the 85% cocoa butter kind.  Still cheating, but it's not like eating a chocolate bar, right?  Lunch today was fried canned tuna with leftover millet and a green salad.   I miss ranch dressing.  Olive oil is great and all... but really, I'm a ranch girl.  I did enjoy my green smoothie again today.  I hope it will last me until Friday.  Doubt it will... but I can hope.  We made some interesting things for supper today, too.  Baked leaks and green beans... ginger beef, and regular old rice.  I kinda wanted to fry up an egg in there, but I think it should be fine as usual rice.  I guess I'm getting soy sauce today, which is also a 'no no'.  But whatever... I really don't care right now.  I was going to attempt to make it myself, but there are ingredients in it that I still can't have, so whatever.  A little soy sauce isn't gonna kill me (especially since it's one day of 12, and only one meal, and only a little bit)... although since hubby made the ginger beef... he still added the sugar.  Only 1/3rd of the sugar, but there's sugar in there.  I suppose getting maybe 2tsp of sugar this entire day isn't too bad though... right?  Yeah... I'm not doing so well with the whole 'food' thing lately.  Cheating?  Why not?!  When did I get so... lax?  I was doing so well in the beginning... and now I'm justifying things.  Shouldn't have had those chocolate almonds on Sunday... I blame them.  Yup, it's all their fault (although... I was the one who ate them... but still... not my fault, haha).  The amount of stuff I've been getting done lately is great!  Hopefully I will be able to keep it up this week... I need to have my belly dance costumes done for Saturday since we have a recital, and I need to get a bunch of stuff ready for later this month, too.  Lots of stuff.

Did I mention that popcorn and smoothies are my friends right now?

Doing a Cleanse

So, on Monday I started a 12 day whole body detox/cleanse by Wild Rose brand... it's quite intense. It came with 48 each of 3 different herbal pills (take 2 of each at breakfast and another 2 at supper each day) plus some drops to take at those same times. It also has a diet plan I need to follow. A very difficult diet plan. It lists all the foods I'm allowed to have, that I'm only supposed to have 20% of my diet from one column, and 80% from the rest (and of course, which column is the most diverse? Yeah... you guessed it), and there's a list of foods to avoid (and if anything is NOT on the list, I'm not supposed to eat it). No flour. Period. That means bread, pasta, pitas, tortillas, crackers, everything. Can't have it. No sugar. Meaning zero pre-made dressings or condiments. Or desserts. Again. Sigh. No chocolate. No tropical fruits (they have a higher sugar content and thus should be avoided during this cleanse). No mushrooms (fungus... also promotes yeast growth I believe, and this cleanse is taking care of yeast as well). No dairy. Which means cheese, yogurt (sigh... I love my plain yogurt with fruit... can't even make that into a dip right now), milk, etc. I can have butter, though. And popcorn. Yes.... been having popcorn almost daily.

So... what HAVE I been eating? Planning on making spaghetti squash this week, with meatballs. Lots of chicken and fish. Potatoes, yams, avocados, carrots, leeks (never had these before this week, and I like them!), onions, apples, pears, nuts, beans... the list goes on. I've been attempting various recipes, and my husband recently bought some millet for me to try instead of rice for one meal. Rice is getting boring. Especially since I cannot have soy sauce. So I've been frying it with butter and egg and veggies for something different. I made a green smoothie the other day with berries, apple juice, water, and spinach. Spread it out over 3 days for my snack (with popcorn of course). I've added fiber to it, too. I've been taking extra fiber every day for a week and a half now.

Anyway, the reason I wanted to post this is because I thought it would be interesting to put up a day to day experience on this cleanse. I've done cleanses before, but none to quite the extent this one is... no diet change to be exact. I've been writing up a little blurb daily on how my body is reacting... including BM's (although I don't get so descriptive about those... it's not necessary... number per day is enough, really). So, if you are looking into a cleanse and want to know what to expect, here you go!

Day 1: No real changes... although I'm craving toast and cheese like crazy. And urinating a lot. Must be getting rid of excess water buildup since I haven't changed my water consumption from before. I'm not sure where else all the extra water would come from.

Day2: Headaches... not crazy headaches, but a constant nagging one all day long. And my knees started to hurt this morning. I could hardly stand back up at one point (from crouching on the floor) they hurt so bad. Today was also really cleaning the colon... I usually only have 1 bm a day, early morning. Today I had 4. I need to cut down on the 'laxaherb'. Will do only 1 in the am and another in the pm (halving it). Popcorn is my friend. And almonds. And my green smoothie. I'm adding fiber to the smoothie as I drink it. Should help with bulking up my stools as well. I took a nap today, too.

Day3: I did not sleep well. My legs feel like they have growing pains... haven't had that since I was little. Still have headaches, too. I've been REALLY grouchy. I am still exercising, although it is hard (I've been doing the lower impact/resistance versions), and M is getting on my nerves. Repeating the same things, over and over and over... with this headache, I want to pop. I forgot to take my supper pills today... I'll be spreading those out over tomorrow. I needed the nap today.

Day4: Slept much better last night. Took 3 of each pill in the morning and in the evening to make up for yesterday. My ankles are in a lot of pain today. I didn't exercise at all due to that. I'm afraid I'll hurt myself further if I do. I think I'll be using a pillow between my knees for sleep tonight to help my joints. I have growing pain like feelings all over my lower legs. Back down to 1 bowel movement today... yesterday too. I cheated on my diet today and had 1/2 a piece of rye toast with breakfast. I couldn't eat breakfast... oatmeal and apples, no sugar, no milk... tasteless and just plain blech. Plus, I can't have oatmeal without toast! Although.. I did do it before. Whatever, 1/2 a piece isn't gonna kill me. I went from 3 pieces per day to 1/2, no problem. Oh, I had mushrooms today as well. They happened to be in the quinoa chili I had planned for today... I had it frozen from before, and forgot I had mushrooms in there. Ah well. It tasted good. Good news... when I got up this morning, I looked less 'puffy' in my tummy. And it seems my stretch marks are finally healing up a bit! I am using a shea butter cream as well, but I think there was a lot of water in the skin that has come out.

Day5: Made my son's birthday cake yesterday, and spent all day decorating it today. On my feet a LOT. Thankfully, they actually don't hurt like they normally would. I wanted to eat some cake SO badly... but I didn't. I did lick icing off my finger (from when I gave some cake to Bram and got a bit on my finger, I instinctively licked it off). WHEW. I've heard of sugar rush before, but never have I really experienced it like THAT. We must have a lot of sugar in our normal food for me to be able to eat a whole piece of cake like that and not feel it before. Yeah... that sugar went straight to my head. Very lightheaded for only a second or two. Strangest feeling ever. Think laughing gas... without the awful taste in your mouth. Not much else to report for today. Oh, I did have another 1/2 piece of rye toast.

Day6: I was planning on cheating today... but I didn't, aside from what seems to be my daily 1/2 piece of rye toast. We went out for lunch, and I found something I could eat! There may have been some sugar or something in the rotisserie chicken rub, but it was mostly butter, and herbs. Mmmm. I've been having terrible runs again. Planning on halving the laxaherb yet again to only one in the morning OR evening. Not sure yet which. I got a massive headache in the evening today. Perhaps from stress. Or wanting sugar so badly and not getting it. Or maybe being barefoot for belly dance class, dancing for a full 1.5 hours straight. Who knows.

Well, I'm halfway through, and looking forward to being done on Saturday. Looking forward to it... yes... will celebrate by... eating toast (haha). And maybe some cheese! :) Best to stay away from the sugar for a little bit longer, methinks.

Today is day 7... not much to report as of yet. I'll report later on.

Oh, and a Happy Mother's Day to all you moms (and even you ladies who aren't moms, but still have children in your lives) out there! :)

A Cleansing

Anybody out there like spring cleaning?  Ok... rephrase that.  Anybody like the aftermath of a good spring cleaning? 

I've been itching to spring clean my house.  It IS spring, after all.  Unfortunately, I cannot.  Or at least, it's not worth it right now, since we are renovating the office.  Once the dust has settled and the walls/ceiling mud is done, sanded, and all painted (and the floors are put in), spring cleaning of my house will commence, but until then... it isn't worth it.

Did I mention the layers of drywall dust that coat everything in sight, even when no dust has been stirred in that room, and after dusting?  Yeah.  Not fun.  Dust everything in sight just to have a new layer coating it all over again days later.  Nope.  Not happening.

Ok ok... I admit... I've been dusting anyway.  I can't help it.  I can NOT operate in a dusty house!  Especially the kitchen, ick.

Anyway, I digress.

This post is not about cleaning houses (mainly because I can't really do mine right now, and it's driving me nuts).  No, it's about cleansing bodies.

I have an item on my 101 list... to do a 30 day colon cleanse... and I aim to do it.  Soon.  Ok, within the next month (hopefully).  In addition to this 'cleanse', I want to detox.  Although, you can't do much of a detox if you have a clogged colon... right?  So, I'm taking things one step at a time, doing what I can at home right now without one of those detox/cleansing kits.  Those kits are expensive.  And the most recommended kit, the one I really want to buy, is Dr Natura's Colonix program and Toxin Out program.  Unfortunately, they no longer ship to Canada.  Boo.  I've done the colonix program over 5 years ago, and it was great.  Now I can finally do one again, and they don't ship here.  I may just have to use Mike's Parcel Pickup once again.  It would be in within a week.  That said, to get 2 colonix packs for me, one for my husband, and one Toxin out for each of us, plus 2 packs of Vitamin D pills (on sale, 60 pills each at 5000UI per pill for $9... which is better than the exact brand of 240 pills at 1000UI each for $10, since I have to take 5 of the suckers a day... blech), costs almost $300.  Ouch.  But if I get renewed energy, sleep better at night, and if this eczema finally leaves me (if only for a little while), it would be worth it, right?  Still... ouch.  Although, the cleansing kits at the health store in town aren't much better in terms of cost.  A 7 day colon cleanse is $25.  Bring it to 30 days and... well... pricey (they even say that 7 days isn't enough for a proper cleanse on the box).  A 30 day cleanse for the liver and kidneys (I'm not sure the kit does heavy metals as well...) is $55.  Which is the same price as the Toxin Out program when purchased with the Colon cleanse (which is a high recommendation in general... which I would do anyway).  And it doesn't include the flora pills to replenish good colon bacteria, which the Toxin Out does (each bottle is almost $20).  So, I guess it would be cost effective.

Still... $300....

Anyway, right now I'm trying to do things at home to help my body detox and cleanse... somewhat.  And to lose weight and gain energy.  I haven't been working out much... in a long time.  I've been doing belly dance, but that's about it.  Well, Monday I decided to put myself on a strict regimen. 

- Each morning, I dry brush myself to start the day (although not as thoroughly as described here... mine only takes 2 minutes).  I do a better one before showers.  I also make sure I drink a full cup of water before I do anything.  I follow it with a second cup before breakfast. 

- I keep track of my water consumption, aiming for 70 oz per day. 

- I have heard of many benefits of drinking tea, so I make sure to have one cup of green tea per day. 

- When I went to a micro-analysis years ago (man... has it really been 10 years?), she taught me something to help stimulate the colon.  A belly massage of sorts.  I do this for 5 minutes a day, prior to belly dancing, which I do prior to a major workout.  The massage is supposed to take place with your body at a 45 degree angle... butt up, head down, on your back.  I use the recliner with pillows stuffed underneath.  M thought it was hilarious. 

- The last daily thing I do... is a workout.  Ever heard of the 30 day Shred with Jillian Michael's?  Yeah... that one.  Bought it before I got pregnant with Bram, started it, got to about 15 days, couldn't do anymore (I was pregnant... didn't know at that point), and haven't picked it up since.  Yeah.  Did day 2 today.  MAN that is ONE HARD workout!  M thought it was great.  I have Pilate's balls I use as my weights (too cheap to buy a set), and M grabbed some balls from her toys to hold as she did the workout with me.... awwww!

I also want to do a mineral soak (ok, fancy name for a soak in a hot tub filled with Epsom salts... my sis in law told me that to detox with this you need to have about 10 cups of the salts in there for one bath.  I think I am going to be buying the barn's brand.  Much cheaper than what you pay in the store for them to add a little bit of dried lavender to).  There are a few recipes out there.  I don't know if Epsom salts really help you detox, but they do feel wonderful in the bath, and if it helps me relax, that will reduce free radicals in my body and will promote well being... right?  So, cheap salts... great.  Here is a recipe for a 'detox' bath.  Seems a bit like a soda bath as well, huh.  Here's another page with other 'bath' info.  I want to do an acidity test on myself to see if I'm overly acidic.  If so, I think I'll try that apple cider vinegar bath... although it doesn't sound too appetizing.

So yeah.  Here I go, attempting to do a bunch of weird things that probably have not been tested or have any scientific merit in cleansing the body.  But hey, I'm doing something, right?  Baths are relaxing (which is good), dry brushing is stimulating (another positive thing), the massage I have noticed IS affecting my... ahem... movements (and only on the second day, yes), tea is just good, and water... well, that IS proven.  So is exercise (in terms of making me feel better, too).  Although, right now my muscles are sore.

I'm looking forward to doing a colon cleanse.  Weird... I know.  (hey, if I can't clean my house, I might as well clean my body, right?).

Anybody else have strange detoxing methods they've used that worked for them?