So, we found out the stuff we ordered for our railing won't be in for 3-4 weeks, and the rug can't go in until the posts at least are in place. This is really beginning to bother me. So, we have to put yet another hold on the rug. I'm hoping we can at least have the rug put in the babyroom and the one portion of the hall (where they would need to cut it to place it anyway) this friday so I can still put in all the casings and the majority of the baseboards. I hate reno setbacks. I feel like finally things are going ok and then this stuff happens.
So, the way this looks like it'll work is the bannister/rail won't be able to go in for another month... I'll be 2 weeks from my due date, and then there's the rug to go in there, and so on. I REALLY don't want to have to deal with this anymore. Why couldn't we have figured out that we needed a new rail months ago?
Along with these somewhat "trivial" frustrations is the fact that I don't have a husband around much at all. He's on the field almost constantly. We were going to get two extra days off this week due to him having to work on the last weekend he was supposed to have off (milking, regular chores, and fieldwork) but due to the fieldwork that needs to be done now, those promised days are no more. He doesn't even think he'll be able to get the weekend off that we're supposed to get. This is one full straight month or more of no days together. At all. I see him for food and sleep. And I can't work on anything right now because it's all on hold. I could scream! I was ok with missing one weekend, but two in a row (he gets every OTHER weekend off... meaning he's already worked 3 1/2 weeks straight with no days off, and with this week means 5 weeks no days off)!!!
Ok... so I have a few things I could probably do. I can put up the window casing in the bedroom, I can restain the deck and fence outside (although I need my mask to do so), I can do yardwork, although all that takes is a few minutes now that the lawn is mowed again, and I can do a few organizing projects... although the amount of those remaining is dwindling fast. I can't go on the field with him at all... apparently not a good idea to be on a tractor while pregnant. Part of me really wants to shop for materials so I can do a few other projects... the mural panels, curtains in the diningroom/kitchen/hall/babyroom, making decorations for the babyroom, etc. I also want to start doing baby registry so we don't have to worry about it after baby is born... but I wanted to do that with Chuck, and he has zero time. I am feeling so frustrated. I want to cry.
I'm not a material person, I'm usually quite happy with everything just the way it is, and normally have no problem living in a half renovated house for years at a time... I just feel so pressured because baby is coming and I want everything ready for him/her. But then there are so many things others are going through that makes me feel like I shouldn't let these frustrations get me down, because they are nothing in comparison. Friends and family going through seperations, losing loved ones, miscarriage, and so on... really puts a different perspective on having to wait a month because the posts for my railing are "special order", or not having a husband around much due to crop season. I should be thankful we are getting such a great crop this year, and I am, even though I really miss Chuck. We have a wonderful relationship even through all of this, and I feel that it is still growing thanks to God's hand in our lives. We do get some time together on Sunday's due to the family refusing to do any extra work besides normal necessary chores, and Chuck is doing everything possible while on the field to help order what we need and arrange the renovation work necessary. Really, I have so much to be greatful for.
So, the way this looks like it'll work is the bannister/rail won't be able to go in for another month... I'll be 2 weeks from my due date, and then there's the rug to go in there, and so on. I REALLY don't want to have to deal with this anymore. Why couldn't we have figured out that we needed a new rail months ago?
Along with these somewhat "trivial" frustrations is the fact that I don't have a husband around much at all. He's on the field almost constantly. We were going to get two extra days off this week due to him having to work on the last weekend he was supposed to have off (milking, regular chores, and fieldwork) but due to the fieldwork that needs to be done now, those promised days are no more. He doesn't even think he'll be able to get the weekend off that we're supposed to get. This is one full straight month or more of no days together. At all. I see him for food and sleep. And I can't work on anything right now because it's all on hold. I could scream! I was ok with missing one weekend, but two in a row (he gets every OTHER weekend off... meaning he's already worked 3 1/2 weeks straight with no days off, and with this week means 5 weeks no days off)!!!
Ok... so I have a few things I could probably do. I can put up the window casing in the bedroom, I can restain the deck and fence outside (although I need my mask to do so), I can do yardwork, although all that takes is a few minutes now that the lawn is mowed again, and I can do a few organizing projects... although the amount of those remaining is dwindling fast. I can't go on the field with him at all... apparently not a good idea to be on a tractor while pregnant. Part of me really wants to shop for materials so I can do a few other projects... the mural panels, curtains in the diningroom/kitchen/hall/babyroom, making decorations for the babyroom, etc. I also want to start doing baby registry so we don't have to worry about it after baby is born... but I wanted to do that with Chuck, and he has zero time. I am feeling so frustrated. I want to cry.
I'm not a material person, I'm usually quite happy with everything just the way it is, and normally have no problem living in a half renovated house for years at a time... I just feel so pressured because baby is coming and I want everything ready for him/her. But then there are so many things others are going through that makes me feel like I shouldn't let these frustrations get me down, because they are nothing in comparison. Friends and family going through seperations, losing loved ones, miscarriage, and so on... really puts a different perspective on having to wait a month because the posts for my railing are "special order", or not having a husband around much due to crop season. I should be thankful we are getting such a great crop this year, and I am, even though I really miss Chuck. We have a wonderful relationship even through all of this, and I feel that it is still growing thanks to God's hand in our lives. We do get some time together on Sunday's due to the family refusing to do any extra work besides normal necessary chores, and Chuck is doing everything possible while on the field to help order what we need and arrange the renovation work necessary. Really, I have so much to be greatful for.
So, I'll put aside my frustrations... I'll lay them at Jesus feet and tell Him that I can't handle them, He needs to take care of them for me, and I'll walk away with a much lighter load. After all, He is ultimately in control of everything in my life anyway. I'll just do what I can, and not worry about the things I cannot change... and pray... not only for myself, but for all the people I love who really need God's hand right now. As for me... God is already sitting here, telling me He'll take care of things.
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