An update

So, I realized I haven't been updating much on how things are going with the pregnancy. I guess part of me has been in denial as I still don't feel ready for this, even though I know I'll be ready when the time comes. God likes to work that way.

I had my strep B test last week and it came back negative, which is 'positive', (smile). So, no problems there. My appointment yesterday yielded interesting results. My doctor felt that I had a lot of room in the upper portion of my uterus/abdomen area. Neither of us is certain if the baby has dropped or not, as baby has been low the entire time (too low to get any proper measurements on his/her head). I have been feeling different over the last week from before. Some days I feel like a bowling ball is stuck under my skin, and others I forget the belly is even there, until I start cooking or something and find my stomach getting rather warm being a bit closer to the element than usual, or finding it difficult to walk by certain things. No burns yet, thank goodness.

I got my first stretch marks last Friday... literally showed up overnight, right under the belly button. My discomfort started that day as well. I didn't know stretch marks would hurt like that, and I felt the need to hold up my belly most of the day. Same on Monday. The others... felt just like normal. I'm also experiencing what I can only think of as contractions. My stomach is getting all hard suddenly, and when I lay down again it softens to normal after a few seconds. Baby still wriggles like crazy in there too (my belly currently looks like an earthquake... quite hilarious). Last night was real bad for awhile. It felt like contractions were happening even while I slept... just a constant tightening around my abdomen. Drinking water seemed to help a bit, which also meant an extra bathroom trip. No issues yet today though. They seem to like me in the evenings.

I just really want this baby to bake another 3 weeks. Mostly because... I'm afraid I'm not ready.

I shouldn't be afraid. No matter what, baby is coming out, and God knows the best time for that so I just need to trust Him in that matter... not like I can do anything to change it anyway. But part of me still wants control over that. I have no idea what will happen, if I'll feel the contractions or the dilating or any of that stuff, or if I'll have other signs of labor, or if everything will happen quickly, or if it will go really slow. I have no clue, and that drives me batty. It's becoming real to me, and for so long I have been avoiding really thinking about it much. I've had so many dreams the last few nights about giving birth... even Chuck had one recently. None were scary, none had any complications, none took long, just "I think I'm having a baby" and then out he/she comes. Some my water breaks and I head to the hospital to find I'm in labour and didn't know it. Some, I have the baby on the stairs at someones house. Some I just happen to be in town when I notice something strange and go into the hospital, calling Chuck on the way in. Perhaps it's my mind's way of preparing me for anything... although none have pain. None have complications. Perhaps that is a good thing.

I don't think this baby will come early, but there are so many telling me it could be any day now. It scares me a little. My doctor even said that if baby did indeed drop, it could happen in 2 weeks. We'll see what happens.

Anyway, that's my not-so-little blurb on what's been happening. I'm glad to say I love being pregnant and have had so few "symptoms" or problems at all. Even the doctor said I was looking good for how far along I am... no swelling, varicose veins, nausea, nothing. I am a very blessed! Not only am I going to have a baby, I have a wonderful pregnancy. God just keeps pouring out His blessings.