I was just reflecting on the past year... so much has happened. I started my blog in January, I started doing the 101 in 1001 in May, did loads of housework, organizing, and renovations, became a mom when we had little Marin in September who is my pride and joy (yeah... the pictures say enough, *smile*), and went on a spiritual journey through my pregnancy in dealing with fear, regret, disappointment, excitement, and just about every other emotion under the sun.
God has taught me so much this last year. Mostly, to trust in Him. I've mentioned before that I have to be in control in some way... well... goodbye to that! I've had to say goodbye since finding out I would become a mom. There are just some things you can't control, and honestly, those things are often the most fun/encouraging/wonderful. It was only through my weaknesses that I was really able to rejoice in who God is, and what He was doing in my life... what He IS doing in my life!
I've got a long way to go...
A friend of mine has been talking about fear in her blog lately... and I can sympathise. I was ruled by fear for years. Of course, this fear was different in junior high than high school, or university, or marriage, or most recently, pregnancy and motherhood... but it's still fear. It still took over my rational thought... it still did not allow God to work until I was able to hand it over to Him... all of it. And then, the most incredible thing happened... nothing! It was pure peace. Total peace... the knowledge of God in control.
His control is so much better than mine after all!
I can't begin to describe that feeling! You've probably had it... when something that totally consumes you for years suddenly is gone... just gone... you don't even realize it's not there until a situation arises and you notice that you aren't thinking the way you normally would...
That's not to say I still don't have fear... it's just not consuming certain areas of my life anymore.
Now I have new fears... fears I never had before because there was no reason to. However, I already know how to deal with them. I'm looking forward to the day when God takes that completely away as well. I'm loving the power He has given me to tell Satan off!
So, what of this year?
I'm sure God has so much in store for me again this year, just like He had so much for me in 2008, and in 2007... I could go on. I'm looking forward to it. I just know it's gonna be great!
I can't wait to grow! I want to do my best to grow! And now, I want to help my little girl to grow as well! Praise the Lord for the changes He brings into our lives... for the good and the bad, and for how He works through every situation to turn us into the person we are meant to be!
2 comments:
You've had such a full and exciting year, it's been fun reading it! I know that 2009 will be just as amazing, if not more so!
Hey! I'm with you 100% on this one. This last year I've had to learn to let go and let God control. I've had to learn to give it all to God.. the worries, the fears, the stress. I certainly have a long ways to go, but where I have been able to turn it to God, it has just been amazing!
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