Swimmingly

For the first time this season, my husband was able to come watch Baby M's swim lessons... and he took a lot of pics! Yippee, I'll be able to scrapbook this!

Ahem... on to pics.

Here they were told to pick up the toys and put them in the bucket. Baby M actually did so... I'm so proud!

We also put 'rings' on the seat in the pool for the kiddos to pick up... gathering that there is depth to water. She had no problem with that.

Here we are going to head down the water slide. I'm getting a bit big for my swimsuit and can NOT find a maternity one for some reason. Le sigh.

At the hot tub to warm up after the lesson was over. I can't go in, so I put in my feet, sit her beside me, and use my hand to bring water up onto her legs and arms a bit. She likes it.

All done and ready to go change.

Anyway, that was swimming. It's similar each time. We play some games that remind me of aqua-sizing sometimes (lifting the kid into the air and back into the pool to a song we sing, playing 'fishy in the middle', doing the 'back float' across the pool, etc). It's a lot of fun. It's sad that there is only one more lesson left. I think I'll keep going swimming though, just go for aqua-sizing with Baby M to keep her used to the pool.

Then there is the belly pic... the one above, by the water slide? Yeah, I'm 20 weeks already. Hard to believe. I don't really feel all that pregnant, except that lately I've been feeling the little guy wiggle and kick now and then. It makes me smile. I only really notice that I'm pregnant when I see pics of myself. I look huge! I can hardly believe it! And I find it funny that my arms almost look like they've got a bit of muscle there (must come from carrying an 18 lb kid in one arm with a 12lb diaper bag on the other).

The only thing I've been noticing aside from kicks and the odd sniffer issue (garlic is not all that appetizing lately) is the depressing thoughts that attack me. I've prayed about them, I've given them to God, I've done what I can to rid myself of them, and yet they continue to come back. They just won't leave me alone. I just want to cry sometimes, and there is no reason to. For example, today I made herb and garlic potatoes. It was suggested that I make about 2 potatoes per adult (counting the teen kids as adults, of course) for our dinner group. That meant 30 potatoes. I filled 2 large pots with 25 potatoes (the other five were washed and ended up going back into the bag). It ended up being 10lbs or more. I came home with about half of it. What am I to do with so many potatoes? And garlic, nonetheless? I don't even want to look at another potato. So, I put them in 4 separate bags and stuck them in the deep freeze. I don't know if that'll work or not, but at least they are not in my fridge, and I don't have to see them. I then proceeded to boil apples and cinnamon sticks on the stove to get rid of the garlic smell. I cannot believe I didn't listen to my instinct on that and only make about 18-20 potatoes. Sigh again. I guess I'll have to find leftover meat to make casseroles with. It's not really that big a deal (if freezing them works, that is), but I feel so down about it... like I'm not a good cook, or I don't know what I'm doing, or whatever. It's making me upset... well, that and other issues. Everything seems to pile up after awhile, even when I try to deal, and I'm feeling a bit attacked.

It doesn't help that I've overloaded myself again. What can I say... I love Christmas, so I want to make something for EVERYONE, and that means a lot of time (whenever the munchkin naps) sewing, woodworking, painting, baking, etc. And until now, I was thrilled. Today, however, I found myself asking why on earth I was doing all this? What was the point? I feel... I don't know what I feel. I love doing it, but at the same time, I don't want to anymore. I want to wrap what is done and forget about the rest (and the 'rest' isn't actually all that much anymore). I need God to take these feelings of despair away... I need to get rid of them and think about whatever is true, noble, right, pure... etc. Why is it so hard sometimes?

Anyway, besides that, things are going swimmingly. I am looking forward to being done all my Christmas gifts, and really looking forward to giving them to their owners-to-be! I just hope that this year, the stuff I want to send to one of Chuck's brothers actually makes it there instead of reappearing on the farm 2 years later. Le sigh.

I hope you are all having a great season... Christmas is only 2 weeks away! :O