Putting HIM First

I just posted about the tribulation here, and this post has a little something to do with it. But not about it directly. No, this as about God's placement in our lives.

A few nights ago, while reading Luke 17, I had a brief vision. Here are the verses...

The Coming of the Kingdom of God20 Once, on being asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, Jesus replied, “The coming of the kingdom of God is not something that can be observed, 21 nor will people say, ‘Here it is,’ or ‘There it is,’ because the kingdom of God is in your midst.”[c]22 Then he said to his disciples, “The time is coming when you will long to see one of the days of the Son of Man, but you will not see it. 23 People will tell you, ‘There he is!’ or ‘Here he is!’ Do not go running off after them. 24 For the Son of Man in his day[d] will be like the lightning, which flashes and lights up the sky from one end to the other. 25 But first he must suffer many things and be rejected by this generation.26 “Just as it was in the days of Noah, so also will it be in the days of the Son of Man. 27 People were eating, drinking, marrying and being given in marriage up to the day Noah entered the ark. Then the flood came and destroyed them all.28 “It was the same in the days of Lot. People were eating and drinking, buying and selling, planting and building. 29 But the day Lot left Sodom, fire and sulfur rained down from heaven and destroyed them all.30 “It will be just like this on the day the Son of Man is revealed. 31 On that day no one who is on the housetop, with possessions inside, should go down to get them. Likewise, no one in the field should go back for anything. 32 Remember Lot’s wife! 33 Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it. 34 I tell you, on that night two people will be in one bed; one will be taken and the other left. 35 Two women will be grinding grain together; one will be taken and the other left.” [36] [e]37 “Where, Lord?” they asked.He replied, “Where there is a dead body, there the vultures will gather.”

The thing that got me was "Remember Lot's Wife!" and I had a quick momentary wondering of what would happen if we would dare to 'look back' at the farm in that moment. I realized that the farm itself, while my home now, is not that important to me in the end, and instead, I got this little 'dream'.

I was at home. I heard a trumpet and looked up, and there was Jesus, in the clouds, his arms open, people everywhere, and my heart soared! I was just about to raise my arms to come to him when I thought of my children and my husband. I stopped, turned my head to look for them, and when I turned back, He was gone. I missed him. I cried... and in all honesty I tear up just remembering it.

Now, I'm not saying that God would not allow us to look for our families. He knows they are important to us. What I am saying is... God spoke to ME in this. He may have a different message for you, but for me the message was clear. "Am I more important than these?" He told me that He loves my husband and children much more than I ever could... and He loves me more than anything. I need to remember that. I cannot be like Lot's wife. I cannot turn back for ANYTHING. Not that God would turn me to salt if I did, but that's not my point right now. Jesus said not to be like Lot's wife. HE is first. "Oh, wait God, I just need to quickly grab something..." doesn't happen if HE is your EVERYTHING. It doesn't happen if you trust him for everything. It... just... doesn't. I need to make sure I put Him before everything in my life, make him first... all else will follow. It's that simple... or hard... depending on how you look at it.

I cannot be in control of my children's or my husband's or any of my loved ones decision to accept Christ. I cannot control their placement of God in their lives. All I can do is pray for them, and put Him first in my own. I am in control of myself, and only myself.

And I must make the decision to put God FIRST.

This whole thing reminded me very strongly of a dream I had years ago. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I had one miscarriage scare... which sparked a series of miscarriage dreams. I lost our first child only months earlier, and so, this was all very frightening for me. I felt very strongly that God told me we would not lose this one... and so in every dream, as I was dreaming I would pray, 'but Lord, you told me I wouldn't lose this one, so I cannot be having a miscarriage', even though all the signs and everyone around me in the dream was saying otherwise... I would cry, and then I would hear God say "Don't worry, *my name*, this is only a dream. You are not losing your baby." and I would wake up and all would be fine.

One day, during my devotions, I'm not sure what I read, but while I was praying I felt very strongly that God was asking me "Am I more important than all of these". "What do you mean, Lord?" "Am I more important than all of these?" I became agitated... what if this meant losing everything... my husband, my baby, my home, my family... what would come of me? He asked me again "Am I more important to you than all of these things" and it was then that I had the overwhelming sense that he didn't want to take things away from me, He wanted me to know and discover... if I had nothing that I have now, would I still love Him? And you know what? I did. I realized that if I kept everything I had, but didn't have Him, I would be very upset. I would hate it. But even if everything I had was taken from me... as long as He didn't leave me, I would be ok in the end. I cried... I don't want to lose anybody that I have in this world... but I felt peace.

I never had another miscarriage dream again.

I believe this little vision was a reminder of that night so many years ago. A reminder that I need to make sure that He is above all else in my life. I can love and enjoy all the wonderful gifts He has given me, in fact He would want me to enjoy those things, but I can't make them more important than the one who gave them to me. I need to keep perspective. And that perspective is that without God, I could have everything, and yet have nothing. HE needs to be the forefront of my life, and I need to be reminded of that every day.