52 week Healing - week 26

You can find the link to week 26 here.

Wow... are we really almost halfway through the year?  Where did the time go?

Before I start looking at week 26, Live for Today, I want to talk about how my 'three weeks in one' challenge went (you know... weeks 23, 24, and 25).

I did not really go to the mirror and tell myself I was beautifully made, but whenever I found myself thinking negatively about my body image, or about something I did or didn't do, I stopped the thought process and tried to look at myself through the eyes of God... or even through the eyes of my children.  They don't see the extra fat around my stomach... nor do they care that I don't apply makeup or cannot fit into my jeans.  That doesn't matter to them.  So, it shouldn't matter to me.  Not that it isn't nice to do so when I finally can again.  ;)

The whole food challenge was not difficult.  Although, grocery shopping saw me wanting to purchase chocolate bars and processed food.  Everything in our cart was a one ingredient item (or... maybe two.  We tried a few new recipes this week in keeping with our 'Around the World in 60 days' fun trip).  Except the 70% cocoa chocolate bar.  But all things considered, I feel we did really well!

As for spending time in quiet listening of the Holy Spirit... I'm not so sure how I did.  I could have done better, but I did quiet myself when nursing, and in the morning after feeding baby A (didn't matter that it was 5 am either... I did my devotions shortly afterward... then went back to bed, haha).  I know I need to do better.  I need to quiet my heart before God and just let be.  It is really hard, with all the tasks that need doing in the house, yard, and for the farm.  And for the kids.  But it is worth it.  In the quiet times I did have, I recognized that I don't need tv or internet.  I spent some time reading a book.  I sang songs.  I enjoyed my children more.  And I feel content again.  I still have a lengthy to do list, but I feel the Holy Spirit spoke to me this week through Sunflowers... they never take their faces away from the sun... and neither should we (the Son, that is).  Even though quiet doesn't happen often in this house (sigh... my poor ears, haha), I only need to quiet my heart and the Spirit will speak.

Alright... now for Week 26 - Live for Today

Time to burn those bridges to the past.  Not everything needs burning, but the negative emotions, the bad relationships, and the hurt and bitterness that relates to a past event needs to go.  NOW.  Yes... I'll be cutting off my thoughts quite a bit.  Literally.  I've noticed that I need to get rid of negative thoughts again, and have been doing my best to stop reading news articles now as they are mostly bringing about negative emotions, and I'm enough of an emotional wreck right now.  I need to focus on loving my family, and look to Jesus instead of the news.  As for the past in the way of relationships... there is only one which has been already pretty much cut off by the other person.  It is sad, as just a year ago I felt close to this person, and recently things changed.  For many reasons, the fact that this relationship seems pretty much over is probably a good thing.  It makes me sad, but I need to do what is healthiest for my family.  I still pray for this person and wish them well, and if the time comes where they want me to be part of their life again, that is great... but for now, I cannot dwell on it.  And I won't.  I have far too many other blessed relationships to grow, including my children.

So, this week I will be doing my best to cut the negative past emotions, and pull up any bitterness that I find by the root.  Goodbye, weeds!  Hello, healthy soil!