You can find week 29 here.
Week 29 is about resistance to healing. God can and will heal us if we let Him. Now... how often do we let Him? We say we want to be healed, but do we really? I mean, if you are angry at someone, do you really want to be healed? It means getting rid of your anger. You cannot be healed, after all, if you don't get rid of one of the root causes of your inner turmoil.
It kind of reminds me of the story where Jesus healed the man at the Pool of Bethesda. Remember that story? I thought it was odd that Jesus would ask the man who had been sick for so many years if he wanted to be healed. The man didn't answer with a yes or no, either... something I thought about as a child, but dismissed as an adult. He just gave his excuse as to why he wasn't getting healed, as though he thought Jesus was judging him for not getting into the pool on time. But... did he want to be healed? Being healed means a lifestyle change. Literally. This man was healed. Now he wouldn't be sitting at the pool anymore. He wouldn't be around these people any more like he was before. He might still be viewed as 'sick' by others who saw him there for so many years. He might see little symptoms appear and believe himself to not have been healed. He might have to work hard at keeping himself healthy. Being sick sometimes gives us an excuse to not do things. Right?
For example, as a woman who has had three kids, I've dealt with postpartum depression. It is NOT a fun thing to deal with. I did not enjoy it. But... this is the problem. I used it as an excuse. It was an excuse for my bad moods, my crying fits, my mental breakdowns, and my inability to get up and do anything productive. I'd spend weeks doing nothing more than the very basic of basic tasks... the odd meal (my husband ended up doing a lot of those... I am not proud of that), laundry, changing diapers and feeding the kids. I didn't do anything creative. I hardly did much in the way of cleaning. Baking? Yeah right. And bookwork would slip as well. Once I came to, and my depression waned, it didn't take long for me to fall right back into it due to being overwhelmed by what I hadn't done. I didn't want to be healed because I had no excuse not to do things. And the cycle would have continued if I wouldn't have said "NO! I need to change". And you know what? Even if I was depressed, that was NO excuse for me to ignore my duties as wife and mom. I was capable of doing them. I just needed God to come in and talk me through it. And my house, family, and body are better because of it. (please don't get me wrong. There are days where our bodies and minds need rest from the regular daily tasks, and I'm not discounting that. I'm talking about allowing the depression to control me rather than me forcing myself to get up and do something I knew needed doing... mostly because once I started doing a task, my depression dissipated)
Healing is not always easy. You'd think it would be a no brainer... 'I don't have to live with _____ anymore? Sign me up!' But it isn't. We get used to holding onto hurt, pain, sickness... whether it's physical, emotional, mental, or even spiritual. We display some of them proudly like a badge of honor. "Look at what terrible thing I have! Pity me!" Wow. I need to take a good look at myself and find out where I'm holding back from allowing healing to take place.
Thank the Lord, He is willing to help me even when I take my sweet time letting Him!
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