52 weeks of Healing - Weeks 33 and 34

Yeah, I know I know... I skipped last week.  Well, week 32 was to turn off electric gadgets...

I wish I could say that was the reason I wasn't on here, but it isn't.  I was on facebook by Thursday of that week, and a little too much computer time as well, I hate to admit.

However, I do know that I need to reduce my internet time.  A lot.  I've been praying for help on that, and I've been doing my best to keep it down, spend time drawing or reading to my kids instead, tickling my baby's toes and watching her smile at me... little things.  I think it is helping, and I WANT to spend less time on the computer.  And the computer really is the only electronic gadget that has me hooked.  I don't own a pda, a cell phone, or a ipod.  I have a DS and 3DS but use it for the step counter.  I don't watch much tv and limit it to 20 minutes a day for the kids.  Our evenings however... we could do much better by turning it off and going to bed once the kids are down for the night.  So... the internet is my addiction, and it needs to be reduced... badly... I don't need pinterest THAT much, after all.  ;)

Anyway, weeks 33 and 34...

Week 33 is to create a toxin free environment.

This is easy.  I already make all my own cleaners except for the toilet bowl cleaner.  I use no air fresheners, our shampoo/conditioner I make myself, and the soap we use... well... I have to use fragrance free stuffs.  I buy Norwex cleaner for my shower.  I use baking soda and vinegar for practically everything.  The only thing I need to change is how I clean my toilet... and I don't really want to change that yet, haha.  Oh, and I suppose if there was something in my dish soap... I can start making my own dishwasher detergent, too!  I have a recipe for that (I think it was pretty much just borax, washing soda, baking soda, and a lemon powder/citrus of sorts).  So, I guess I was doing this without realizing it! Yay!

Week 34 is to identify your stressors.

Sometimes we may think one thing is stressing us out, when it really is the result of our actual stressor.  I'm not exactly sure what my real stressor is, but I know I easily feel overwhelmed when I see a messy kitchen, or toys all over the floor, or feel dirt underfoot (especially when I cleaned the floor only minutes ago).  I get super stressed whenever I need to work on the farm paperwork... but our personal bookwork doesn't stress me in the least.  I also feel stressed about making meals.  Always.  The kitchen is a stress magnet.  I think the main cause of my stress is actually unfinished projects... this is something that has always gotten under my skin (if I start it, I need to finish it in short order before I can move onto something else or else I will go insane!).  However, I need to learn how to deal with this either way because with three kids under 5 it is virtually impossible for me to focus on one task until it is finished anymore.  Not to mention that the 'project' that needs work will often need to have an area redone before it is finished either way (take 'having a clean house' for example...).  Lately I've been trying to avoid the stress by not starting anything I cannot feasibly finish within one hour... however that means I'm not doing much and I'm avoiding tasks instead, which is causing me to feel useless, and I begin to get depressed about it.  I am rather task oriented it seems... but I'm afraid to start anything new.  What a problem!

So, I'm hoping that God will reveal to me what my main stressor is, and that He will help me weed it out properly.  I need His help in this area, because I know I have a problem, and I don't know how to solve it!