So... I found something out yesterday. I have diastasis recti. And not just a little bit.
Now, how did I find this out? It is no secret that I love to research things. Well, in my research on Monday, I found out about diastasis recti. I remember learning about it after having my son almost 5 years ago. Two weeks after having him, I measured myself and had only one finger width gap. Well, in my research I read that still looking pregnant after birth can be attributed to this issue. After dealing with some depression due to looking 6 months pregnant still, I decided to measure myself Tuesday morning.
I got all four fingers in between mu muscle ridges. I kind of felt like freaking out!
It all makes sense now. The huge amount of back pain I was having in my last trimester was probably due to my muscles separating to the point of me having no more core to support it. And the continued back pain after birth... also due to that same fact as the muscles did not come back together again. After she was born, I remember getting up (finally) to go to the bathroom, and being hardly able to walk. I actually had to hold my stomach in with my arms in order to make it over there. I remembered things feeling weird each time after birth, but this was even stranger than I expected. And it makes sense.
10 days after I had baby B, I was in church and an older gentleman came up to me and said 'Oh, you're still pretty big, eh?', to which I replied 'just keeping it roomy in there for the next one', all the while trying not to get too upset. This last weekend was B's baby dedication (which would be more aptly termed 'parent dedication', but I digress). After the service, I had an older lady come up to me and sweetly ask when I was due. I quickly brought her attention to the baby my husband was buckling into the car seat. I know... I am still pretty big. My stomach sticks out, I am still in maternity clothes 4 weeks after giving birth (and expect to be for awhile still), and now I don't have a baby in there to 'blame it on'. Plus, most of the babies born this last year in our church were all first time moms who went back to no bellies within the first couple of weeks. Yes, I know things will take a lot longer after #4. But with everything that happens after birth, with all the healing I have to do, and with all the wonders of newborn babies (meaning lack of personal hygiene to a degree), I feel gross. I do not feel pretty. I have limited wardrobe, cannot wear jewelry for many reasons (a 2 year old being one of those), and it's all 'shower and go'... sometimes without the shower. All sorts of women around me are dressed so pretty, smell wonderful with their perfume (I cannot wear perfume as I react to the stuff. Makes me sad), makeup and hair done nicely, or even these women with beautiful baby bellies (I love pregnant bellies... they are so cute), or those who have lost weight recently and look fantastic, and it's hard to not sit and cry. I hide in my house more than I'd like to admit, and even girls night is hard for me to go to, although I love it every time I do go.
I know... it's only skin deep. I have a beautiful baby to be thankful for (and I am!), and my body went through something huge (ha! Pardon the pun)! Power to me! However, it is still hard. Even with learning why my stomach is not returning to normal (I was back in most of my usual clothes by 2 weeks post partum after my first), it still bothers me. And the work I'll have to go through in order to fix these muscles is going to take a long time, and a lot of dedication.
I just wonder if I have the dedication to do it right now?
Currently, I'm sitting here, typing away, watching my middle two children play/fight (I'm not sure which half the time), and my baby napping on the floor (thankfully, far from the action), as I wear my Curves belly band (bought the thing years ago with 'curves points' when I worked out there. It's supposed to help you 'sweat' away extra pounds on your abdomen. It is working well as a transverse abdominal muscle helper right now). I am trying to do my walking exercises daily while sucking in my gut. I am doing some of the other recommended exercises to reverse the ab separation. And this is only day two. With a small separation (two fingers), usually 6 weeks will see some good reversal. Otherwise, it can take up to a year. A year. Of trying to remember to sit up properly, lay down correctly, suck in my gut using my transverse abs, and other small exercises (when I'd rather lay down for a nap or eat whatever item I can find in my fridge because I'm always feeling half starved). And 4 fingers is pretty severe.
As for the fat comments... I think I am now forever afraid to ask anyone when they are due.
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