In all honesty, I wasn't sure where to go with the challenges this month. They've basically been cleaning and household challenges, and I want to keep them that way. So, for the month of June, I figured I'd have an outdoor 'challenge', as well as an indoor one. Both will be smaller things, however, and should be simple to complete. I hope.
This week, the challenge is to plant something, and to clean the household phones. Cleaning phones isn't too hard. If you have wet ones (baby wipes or something like that), just take one and clean the buttons and between the buttons on all the handheld phones, as well as in the cracks and the basic surfaces. It's something we use regularly, but how often do we think to clean them? If you have cell phones, perhaps it would be nice to do them, too.
And the focus this week is back in the living, dining, and entrance areas.
To Do: May 30-June 5
sweepvacuumbathroomslaundry- exercise (did Monday, Wed, Thurs,)
farm bookspersonal booksmeal plan- scrapbook
dust baseboards/trim in focus areaextra dusting in focus areaextra vacuuming (under couch)gardeningput up clotheslinechop some trees- order dirt
- start levelling yard
- print preg album pics
camping prepplant somethingclean phones/tv remotes
So, there it is. Keep me accountable, ok?
Lately I've been getting a bit depressed. The lists help a bit... I can look at them and see that I am actually doing something. However, I've begun to feel down from everything lately. I don't feel like I can do the things I enjoy anymore... and it's beginning to wear on me. I guess not getting enough sleep would do it too. I'm exhausted every morning, and it only gets worse as the day progresses. Naps don't help because I wake with a headache almost every time... I suppose they aren't the right length or something, and I'm not sleeping properly either. I'm not sure what to do about the sleep situation... it won't change until Bram is sleeping longer... but the exhaustion goes deeper than that. I feel emotionally spent. The weather has been poor in our area lately, and my daughter has been super whiny due to not being able to go outside. Getting out of the house and going 'elsewhere' helps a little, but it is very exhausting on my part. Not to mention the fact that I wish to be outside too, and the rain does not help.
I feel like I do the same things over and over. And those same things need doing so regularly that I tire of them. I long to do the projects that show something 'done' that lasts... something I don't need to do again in a week, or the next day, or in 5 minutes. Then there is family time. I feel the need to spend time with my husband, but between taking care of the kids and house, and his working on the farm, we barely see each other. It's... draining. And I'm not sure what to do about it.
I'm thinking about doing a 'go on a date' challenge or something. However, that will have to wait. The fields are ready for harvest, and the second it is dry enough, I will be alone with the kids in the house from 6am till 10pm (besides meals, if I'm lucky).
I guess I just feel like my existence is... a bit useless right now. I know this isn't true, and part of it is my unbalanced hormones talking, but it's how I feel, and a big part of me just wants to waste the time until things feel a little more 'in check' with who I know I am. I need time out. Time alone. Sleep. A lot of things that are basically impossible with a nursing infant... and my husband needs the same things as me.
Please pray for us.
