In all honesty, I wasn't sure where to go with the challenges this month. They've basically been cleaning and household challenges, and I want to keep them that way. So, for the month of June, I figured I'd have an outdoor 'challenge', as well as an indoor one. Both will be smaller things, however, and should be simple to complete. I hope.
This week, the challenge is to plant something, and to clean the household phones. Cleaning phones isn't too hard. If you have wet ones (baby wipes or something like that), just take one and clean the buttons and between the buttons on all the handheld phones, as well as in the cracks and the basic surfaces. It's something we use regularly, but how often do we think to clean them? If you have cell phones, perhaps it would be nice to do them, too.
And the focus this week is back in the living, dining, and entrance areas.
To Do: May 30-June 5
sweepvacuumbathroomslaundry- exercise (did Monday, Wed, Thurs,)
farm bookspersonal booksmeal plan- scrapbook
dust baseboards/trim in focus areaextra dusting in focus areaextra vacuuming (under couch)gardeningput up clotheslinechop some trees- order dirt
- start levelling yard
- print preg album pics
camping prepplant somethingclean phones/tv remotes
So, there it is. Keep me accountable, ok?
Lately I've been getting a bit depressed. The lists help a bit... I can look at them and see that I am actually doing something. However, I've begun to feel down from everything lately. I don't feel like I can do the things I enjoy anymore... and it's beginning to wear on me. I guess not getting enough sleep would do it too. I'm exhausted every morning, and it only gets worse as the day progresses. Naps don't help because I wake with a headache almost every time... I suppose they aren't the right length or something, and I'm not sleeping properly either. I'm not sure what to do about the sleep situation... it won't change until Bram is sleeping longer... but the exhaustion goes deeper than that. I feel emotionally spent. The weather has been poor in our area lately, and my daughter has been super whiny due to not being able to go outside. Getting out of the house and going 'elsewhere' helps a little, but it is very exhausting on my part. Not to mention the fact that I wish to be outside too, and the rain does not help.
I feel like I do the same things over and over. And those same things need doing so regularly that I tire of them. I long to do the projects that show something 'done' that lasts... something I don't need to do again in a week, or the next day, or in 5 minutes. Then there is family time. I feel the need to spend time with my husband, but between taking care of the kids and house, and his working on the farm, we barely see each other. It's... draining. And I'm not sure what to do about it.
I'm thinking about doing a 'go on a date' challenge or something. However, that will have to wait. The fields are ready for harvest, and the second it is dry enough, I will be alone with the kids in the house from 6am till 10pm (besides meals, if I'm lucky).
I guess I just feel like my existence is... a bit useless right now. I know this isn't true, and part of it is my unbalanced hormones talking, but it's how I feel, and a big part of me just wants to waste the time until things feel a little more 'in check' with who I know I am. I need time out. Time alone. Sleep. A lot of things that are basically impossible with a nursing infant... and my husband needs the same things as me.
Please pray for us.
4 comments:
I am definitely praying for you. I love being a mother and I adore my daughter but I have to admit, the prospect of going back to the lack of sleep and constant demands of an infant scares me and, much as I love my husband, I know that he will not give me any break. Everybody has told me that for the first two or three months with two, you feel like a failure all of the time since you can't really meet anyone's needs as much as you feel like you should. Hang in there, knowing that you are not alone. Too bad we don't live closer or when this baby arrived, we could do some playdates for some company.
I am most certainly praying for you!
Hi Sabrina,
I have read your blog for a while- and I am just wondering why you post to do lists? I just think it's strange...
Thanks pippasmom. You're right... I definetaly feel inadequate. Thanks for your prayers. I've been thinking of you lately, and will send prayers for you out as well.
Yolanda, thanks for your comment! I post lists to help keep myself accountable. Especially lately, if I don't post them, I tend to not bother doing them. It just gives me that extra 'push' to get some things done. Plus... I'm a listmaker. I'm addicted to lists. :) That said, I have been thinking of changing up my lists a bit, since they seem to be getting a bit mundane lately.
I am soooooo behind on reading and commenting, Sab! (What else is new, right? Sigh.) So rather than leaving tons of comments on the other posts, let me just say I love love LOVE the baby pictures (BRAM IS SO HANDSOME!) and I am simply amazed that you've been able to keep up with your lists so well! You are the inspiration behind my own weekly list (it used to be just one very, VERY long list but now I break it up and focus on a few things each week, on top of the never-ending repeatables of course, and it really does help). It's totally motivational to read yours, haha.
Anyway, I know what you mean about feeling drained. I don't know how you do it, because I don't have kids, especially not a newborn, and I feel like you just read my mind with this post. Lately I've been feeling like everyday is just more de ja vu. Vacuuming the tile, feeding the pets, the bathrooms need cleaned (again, already?), doing the dishes. I. am. tired. And I know that the weather is causing a lot of it (it's soooo hot, I don't handle summertime well at all) but seriously! Can I just get one REAL thing accomplished?! I'd love to say I need a vacation, but the truth is I'd just have a ton of laundry to do by the time I got home, haha.
Hang in there. Sleep when you can. Cram every spare moment with the stuff on your lists you can cross off for good. I'm sending good thoughts your way!
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