So, it HAS been awhile since I last posted. Wow. After posting almost daily for awhile, I haven't now for a whole week. That's crazy!
I've been busy working on cleaning my kitchen, taking care of my lil one of course, fixing our railing (hopefully I'll be having that finished this next week... or two... we'll see how determined I am), and doing some organizing and scrapbooking. Yesturday in particular, I started focusing on a particular scrapbook... my pregnancy one.
The reason I really started working on that album was... actually kinda strange. I was watching the "Mom Show", and they had a few women discussing their loss. It made me cry, and I figured, since I was crying over my loss and these women's losses, I may as well work on writing about my loss. The album already had been started after all...
A good friend of mine made me a pregnancy scrapbook back in September of 2007... when I was pregnant for the first time. It's titled 'My First Pregnancy'. Since that pregnancy didn't last more than 14 weeks, I am making it about my second pregnancy, the one of my baby girl... the one with the happy ending. However, I do not want to leave out that first pregnancy, even if it didn't last the full 40 weeks, even if it maybe isn't 'real' to others... it was very real to me. So, yesturday, after going through a bunch of my journals, I did a bit of a mini-journal of my pregnancy; what happened, the feelings I went through, and quoted various bits of the journaling as well. It's still a bit longer than I'd like, but I want to print it out and put it on the inside front cover of the pregnancy journal. On the back I wish to add my birth story. I still have to print some pics for the scrapbook, but I entered in all the info she had space for in the book.
I cried. A lot. I thought that I wouldn't still be so emotional about it all. It's not a sad cry... I'm not sure what to describe it as. I have no regrets about what happened. I am not angry or bitter. It's just... I don't know.
I know this post is kinda all over the place. I've been feeling a little all over the place lately. Anyway, that's all for now. I may post pics of the finished product later.
3 comments:
I think it is great you are trying to document some from your 1st pregnancy. You and your husband made that precious baby, and you carried them in your belly, even if for a short time. Of coarse, it is something that matters, and IS real, and should be remembered!
Good for you! Hope it turns out real sweet:)
Your first pregnancy is definitely as imporatant as the first, because it was the FIRST and because it involved such a great loss. I think it's wonderful that you're honoring it the way you are!
That scrapbook will be something you can cherish forever!
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