Last weekend, we found out that we had an unwanted houseguest. He was only about 3 inches long, but he sure did cause a stir. And most of the time, we didn't even know he was there. Sure, he was quiet. He mostly ate what ended up on the floor. He kept to himself most of the time. Regardless, he was NOT wanted in my home!
So, upon the first time seeing him (Friday night, running across my kitchen floor), we set up the trap.
It was a good trap, so I thought. We'd used it many years ago and it did the job well. But this guest would have none of it... or maybe it was allergic to peanut butter. Needless to say, I thought we'd have this guy caught the first night, setting the trap under the stove. Nope.
Saturday, while we were watching TV after the kids were in bed, our guest decided that what was on the tube was particularly frightening and ran under our couch.
Out came the trap once again. This time in our living room. Thankfully, this is the sort of trap that I don't have to worry about with the kids as it does not snap, and no little fingers would be hurt. It went behind the couch.
I swear, this guest was against peanut butter.
Sunday we baked brownies, and I decided to put some in our trap, and we set it under the range once again.
He doesn't like brownies either.
Monday afternoon I noticed, to my chagrin, that our little houseguest started snacking in my pantry. Also, to my horror, that he had a higher reach than I thought possible. Not just the bottom shelf (there was nothing for him to snack on there, anyway), the second shelf had dessert for him (he got into my white chocolate melts... nothing else was touched as it was all in plastic containers or unopened bags and I suppose he wasn't interested either way), the third shelf... well... that was a mess. We just bought a new bag of popcorn, and there happened to be a hole in the bag when my husband purchased it (I remember that distinctly... it was just large enough for one kernel to fall through). Our guest made the hole bigger and proceeded to munch away at a number of the kernels. Had a feast there. I was thankful that almost everything was in plastic containers at this point (all my baking goods... I love me some Tupperware). Next shelf up was a different set of doors, and fortunately for him, my cabinet doors are so old that they don't close properly.
I think I want a new kitchen.
I trashed everything that was open in the upper cabinet... which wasn't too much, thankfully, and most of those things were candy or mostly eaten already, so it wasn't a terrible loss. Wasn't happy about the hole he made in my egg noodle bag.
The vacuum came out, the cleaning cloths, the extra plastic containers, and I went to work scrubbing down my pantry. It is really nice and organized and clean now!
I then went to work under the oven and fridge. Well, it was no wonder our trap hadn't caught him, he didn't seem to like going under the oven. There were telltale signs of his visit under the fridge, but our trap wouldn't fit there... so we grabbed one of the more 'traditional' traps and set it up after the kids were in bed. With cream cheese. Because we figured with all that popcorn and chocolate, he might like some cream cheese to give his belly the taste of 'cheesecake' and all that.
Not half an hour later, we heard a SNAP!
So, the houseguest overstayed his welcome (which was never there to begin with), and we took him to visit the cats. The story isn't all bad, though. I now have a clean pantry, trashed a number of unhealthy food items, and my floor is clean under the fridge and range. Also gave the one cabinet that is missing a door a good cleaning, but it doesn't look like he found that area interesting, thankfully.
I then felt the need to scrub the garbage can, vacuum everywhere, and dust all sorts of things. I still wish to scrub the floor with vinegar.
Bottom line... don't overstay your welcome, or you may become cat food ;)
(but I'll get a cleaner house out of the deal)
By the way, we left our traps in place in case he has family or friends that figure they can party... they just might have a 'smashing' good time.
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Diastasis and Labor
So, I mentioned in my last post about the Diastasis Recti and how I've been measuring incorrectly and it was actually worse than I thought. I also said I found out a few things about it that I would blog about. This is that blog.
First, I want to say to all you ladies out there who are pregnant/getting pregnant/have kids, to please try to do what you can to prevent Diastasis Recti. Strengthen your transverse abdominals... these are the inner abdominal muscles. There are a lot of youtube videos that show how to engage them and strengthen them (here is one). These exercises are also used to help try to heal Diastasis. Once you get this condition, it is very difficult to heal, and it will not be completely healed without hard work to keep things together. Also, some people require surgery with how bad it is. There are varying degrees. And if you have this condition, stay away from any exercises involving twisting with weight, crunches, etc.
Anyway, I learned that I had a very slight Diastasis after my son was born (measured 1 finger width at 1 week post partum... so it likely healed completely within the first month after birth which is completely normal). His labor was the simplest. I didn't have to try to work at second stage... my muscles did everything on their own. It was so fast it was scary, actually. My third child, Baby A, I found much more difficult. Labor was quick enough, but stage two I actually had to work at. I remember looking huge with her, showing quickly. I figured it was because she was my third, my body was used to this and just 'expanded'. I never bothered checking for Diastasis after her birth, but I likely had some separation. I do remember my tummy being more 'floppy' and loose after her birth, and finding it more difficult to do simple tasks like standing, or even walking. My back hurt a lot in the last stages of pregnancy, and for a little while post partum, but it wasn't terrible. A lot of that I attributed to the extreme pph I had (which, I found out, was more severe due to me actively pushing harder than I should have, and during times I wasn't actively contracting because I wanted her out NOW).
After my fourth, it was very different.
I could hardly stand after she was born. I had the energy, that wasn't the issue... the problem was I had zero core strength. I literally had to hold my stomach in order to walk to the bathroom. I had no idea the problem was diastasis... once again I attributed it to giving birth to a baby... cause hey, that is no small task! What I didn't understand was WHY that labor didn't stabilize (mine usually only lasted 2 hours, but this one was 5 and contractions were unpredictable). I had INCREDIBLE back pain in the last month or so of pregnancy. It was horrible. And I had false labor from my due date until the day she was born... 13 days overdue.
Most of that was actually due to Diastasis.
You see, I am guessing that sometime during the last bit of my third pregnancy, I got further separation... and since I didn't know it, I didn't actively try to heal it. I didn't weigh much, my waist was 'normal' and while I had that little belly, it wasn't a huge deal to me at the time. When I got pregnant with my fourth, my muscles were already separated, so things showed much sooner. Also, when you have a muscle gap, your internal organs push out through that gap. I didn't have any symptoms of pregnancy with my fourth... while my third was horrible in the first trimester. A lot of symptoms have to do with internal pressure. Need to get up during the night to use the washroom? Yeah... I never had that with my last pregnancy, and sometime during my third trimester I didn't have it anymore with my third, either. Can't eat much due to squished stomach? Didn't have that problem either. Back pain and burning upper abdomen? Those are things associated with muscle separation AND pregnancy, and I had them in spades!
Oh... and here is a pic of my pregnant belly when I went in.
Basically, it looks like my entire uterus is outside my abdominal cavity... something that makes sense now when I look back on it. It also explains my strange labor. The contractions ranged from 2 minutes apart to 6 minutes apart to 1 minute apart while in active labor. And baby wouldn't engage properly. She was rotating while I was in labor... one minute her back was over here on my left... then it was on my right, then she was kicking the Doppler. It was insane. When I stood up, things got going again, and then I had to try to lean over to help her move into the proper position with her back to my stomach. I wanted to attempt pushing in a position NOT on my back, but the contractions wouldn't do anything... until I was on my back. Why? Because the muscle gap meant that the uterus was not receiving the pressure it needed to help engage everything. My pushing did very little until I was on my back and didn't have the added pressure of the organs and uterus stretching the muscles further.
These findings just blow me away!
And so... I'm really hoping to rejoin my muscles. I'm really hoping to heal. However, this seems to be something that will never actually fully heal. I will always need to try to remember to engage my transverse abdominals. Retrain myself. And I will need to be careful about lifting heavy things for fear of reversing the work I've already done.
First, I want to say to all you ladies out there who are pregnant/getting pregnant/have kids, to please try to do what you can to prevent Diastasis Recti. Strengthen your transverse abdominals... these are the inner abdominal muscles. There are a lot of youtube videos that show how to engage them and strengthen them (here is one). These exercises are also used to help try to heal Diastasis. Once you get this condition, it is very difficult to heal, and it will not be completely healed without hard work to keep things together. Also, some people require surgery with how bad it is. There are varying degrees. And if you have this condition, stay away from any exercises involving twisting with weight, crunches, etc.
Anyway, I learned that I had a very slight Diastasis after my son was born (measured 1 finger width at 1 week post partum... so it likely healed completely within the first month after birth which is completely normal). His labor was the simplest. I didn't have to try to work at second stage... my muscles did everything on their own. It was so fast it was scary, actually. My third child, Baby A, I found much more difficult. Labor was quick enough, but stage two I actually had to work at. I remember looking huge with her, showing quickly. I figured it was because she was my third, my body was used to this and just 'expanded'. I never bothered checking for Diastasis after her birth, but I likely had some separation. I do remember my tummy being more 'floppy' and loose after her birth, and finding it more difficult to do simple tasks like standing, or even walking. My back hurt a lot in the last stages of pregnancy, and for a little while post partum, but it wasn't terrible. A lot of that I attributed to the extreme pph I had (which, I found out, was more severe due to me actively pushing harder than I should have, and during times I wasn't actively contracting because I wanted her out NOW).
After my fourth, it was very different.
I could hardly stand after she was born. I had the energy, that wasn't the issue... the problem was I had zero core strength. I literally had to hold my stomach in order to walk to the bathroom. I had no idea the problem was diastasis... once again I attributed it to giving birth to a baby... cause hey, that is no small task! What I didn't understand was WHY that labor didn't stabilize (mine usually only lasted 2 hours, but this one was 5 and contractions were unpredictable). I had INCREDIBLE back pain in the last month or so of pregnancy. It was horrible. And I had false labor from my due date until the day she was born... 13 days overdue.
Most of that was actually due to Diastasis.
You see, I am guessing that sometime during the last bit of my third pregnancy, I got further separation... and since I didn't know it, I didn't actively try to heal it. I didn't weigh much, my waist was 'normal' and while I had that little belly, it wasn't a huge deal to me at the time. When I got pregnant with my fourth, my muscles were already separated, so things showed much sooner. Also, when you have a muscle gap, your internal organs push out through that gap. I didn't have any symptoms of pregnancy with my fourth... while my third was horrible in the first trimester. A lot of symptoms have to do with internal pressure. Need to get up during the night to use the washroom? Yeah... I never had that with my last pregnancy, and sometime during my third trimester I didn't have it anymore with my third, either. Can't eat much due to squished stomach? Didn't have that problem either. Back pain and burning upper abdomen? Those are things associated with muscle separation AND pregnancy, and I had them in spades!
Oh... and here is a pic of my pregnant belly when I went in.
Basically, it looks like my entire uterus is outside my abdominal cavity... something that makes sense now when I look back on it. It also explains my strange labor. The contractions ranged from 2 minutes apart to 6 minutes apart to 1 minute apart while in active labor. And baby wouldn't engage properly. She was rotating while I was in labor... one minute her back was over here on my left... then it was on my right, then she was kicking the Doppler. It was insane. When I stood up, things got going again, and then I had to try to lean over to help her move into the proper position with her back to my stomach. I wanted to attempt pushing in a position NOT on my back, but the contractions wouldn't do anything... until I was on my back. Why? Because the muscle gap meant that the uterus was not receiving the pressure it needed to help engage everything. My pushing did very little until I was on my back and didn't have the added pressure of the organs and uterus stretching the muscles further.
These findings just blow me away!
And so... I'm really hoping to rejoin my muscles. I'm really hoping to heal. However, this seems to be something that will never actually fully heal. I will always need to try to remember to engage my transverse abdominals. Retrain myself. And I will need to be careful about lifting heavy things for fear of reversing the work I've already done.
Saturday, June 13, 2015
Fitness Update
So, I haven't posted the last two weeks of updates. Mainly because I was discouraged. June 4 I saw some improvement everywhere except my waist.
Weight down 1kg
Chest (ribcage) down 1.5 inches
Hips down 3/4 inches
Thigh, no change
Waist up half inch
I had been doing my Turbo Jam and Turbo Sculpt exercises. I didn't realize that my ab separation would get worse from it. The Turbo Sculpt is great... lots of squats and lunges and such. Really works the glutes and brings in a lot more muscle tone. However, I guess there was too much twisting. My muscle separation went back to 3-4 finger widths.
I could cry.
I've stopped doing the exercises that I know would help me with my fat loss because they are no good for my muscle separation. I hate it. So, I've been trying to find more things to do to help heal that separation. I worked at that a bit this week, and tried mostly to walk, as that is supposed to help as well.
June 11 saw this
Weight down 0.4kgs
Chest up 1/2 inch
Hips down 1/2 inch
Thigh no change
Waist down 1 inch
So, somehow, things are still going down. However my muscle gap hasn't changed. It is still sitting at 3-4 finger widths. However, I also figure I'm measuring properly now, and that previously my 'one finger width' wasn't actually that small. Would explain why it separated again. It wasn't truly down to 1. I need to figure out how to bring that muscle back together. I may even think of getting a proper binding to support and help heal those muscles.
Has anyone else had this before? I looked into videos of various people talking about their diastasis, however nobody actually showed what it looked like. I saw pictures showing their bellies and how they look pregnant, but nothing showing what it looks like when you lay down. What is a shallow and a deep diastasis, and how do they differ? How do they look in comparison? How does it look when you are healing?
Since I haven't really seen progress videos or photos like that, I'm thinking of doing something myself. Would that help anyone? Is that something that anyone would even want to see? Honestly, I cannot even see it for myself (it is my belly after all... and raising my head uses the muscles so they draw together).
We'll see. I need to find a time where I can enlist the help of my husband for videoing though, as I'm not sure I can do so myself.
Until next week! Hopefully my waist will go down further. I have another inch and a half I want to lose there, and 4kgs to lose to get back to my weight/size prior to pregnancy.
Oh, look forward to a Diastisis Recti post on something I discovered recently, and my musings as to how that affected my pregnancies and deliveries. ;)
Weight down 1kg
Chest (ribcage) down 1.5 inches
Hips down 3/4 inches
Thigh, no change
Waist up half inch
I had been doing my Turbo Jam and Turbo Sculpt exercises. I didn't realize that my ab separation would get worse from it. The Turbo Sculpt is great... lots of squats and lunges and such. Really works the glutes and brings in a lot more muscle tone. However, I guess there was too much twisting. My muscle separation went back to 3-4 finger widths.
I could cry.
I've stopped doing the exercises that I know would help me with my fat loss because they are no good for my muscle separation. I hate it. So, I've been trying to find more things to do to help heal that separation. I worked at that a bit this week, and tried mostly to walk, as that is supposed to help as well.
June 11 saw this
Weight down 0.4kgs
Chest up 1/2 inch
Hips down 1/2 inch
Thigh no change
Waist down 1 inch
So, somehow, things are still going down. However my muscle gap hasn't changed. It is still sitting at 3-4 finger widths. However, I also figure I'm measuring properly now, and that previously my 'one finger width' wasn't actually that small. Would explain why it separated again. It wasn't truly down to 1. I need to figure out how to bring that muscle back together. I may even think of getting a proper binding to support and help heal those muscles.
Has anyone else had this before? I looked into videos of various people talking about their diastasis, however nobody actually showed what it looked like. I saw pictures showing their bellies and how they look pregnant, but nothing showing what it looks like when you lay down. What is a shallow and a deep diastasis, and how do they differ? How do they look in comparison? How does it look when you are healing?
Since I haven't really seen progress videos or photos like that, I'm thinking of doing something myself. Would that help anyone? Is that something that anyone would even want to see? Honestly, I cannot even see it for myself (it is my belly after all... and raising my head uses the muscles so they draw together).
We'll see. I need to find a time where I can enlist the help of my husband for videoing though, as I'm not sure I can do so myself.
Until next week! Hopefully my waist will go down further. I have another inch and a half I want to lose there, and 4kgs to lose to get back to my weight/size prior to pregnancy.
Oh, look forward to a Diastisis Recti post on something I discovered recently, and my musings as to how that affected my pregnancies and deliveries. ;)
Monday, June 8, 2015
Decisions Decisions
What do you do when you need to make a decision, but that decision is likely going to hurt people no matter what you do?
Recently, my husband and I had to make a decision to either quit or continue in something that he helped form online many years ago. Many close friends we made along the way already left for their own reasons, and stuff was brought to our attention that had us questioning if we really could continue with how things were running. The values that this venture was started under were no more, given over in favor of numbers and page likes. That was never the intent. The company was no longer what it had been made to be. Sure, there were many great ideas coming, lots of stuff that would be fantastic and I was quite looking forward to, but trust had been broken. Mistakes were made. And unfortunately, many mistakes require more than a simple apology to get around.
Yet, here I am. I feel hurt. I feel slightly afraid. And I'm very sad. I'm sad for all the people that have been hurt by the actions of this group, knowingly or unknowingly. I feel scared that I may have lost some friendships myself. And I'm not really sure who to trust right now. I think I need to step back from everything for awhile. I'm still a member of the groups, even those I didn't admin on, but right now I'm not sure I want to even be part of those unless they separate from Geeks Unite as many already have done.
Silly as it sounds, I have actually been a bit emotional over it all. However, I do have one positive thing to say. I feel free. Finally, I feel free of all the drama that surrounded the group over the past few months... drama that slowly escalated months after the death of the original founder. We worked really hard to preserve what it started as, what it was meant to be, and instead, things went downhill. I'm really not sure how much I'm willing to say on this blog, mostly because I don't want any more people hurt. I'm just really needing to let this all out in some way.
And perhaps, in some strange way, this is better for us right now anyway. It was taking a lot of our time, time I feel I can now devote to other things. Like my hobbies. Perhaps my YouTube channel. Costumes. Or even designing my own kids clothes. I've always had so many interests, so many dreams, and now I'd like to move forward with them. However, I am hurting a bit right now, and will likely need time to myself for a bit. Time devoted to prayer, family, and friends.
Maybe I can even take a break from Facebook as my responsibilities on there have been removed. Would be nice.
Anyway, thanks for reading my ramblings. I need to go back to breaking up the real life drama between my kids... again. Sigh. Have a good week, everyone.
Recently, my husband and I had to make a decision to either quit or continue in something that he helped form online many years ago. Many close friends we made along the way already left for their own reasons, and stuff was brought to our attention that had us questioning if we really could continue with how things were running. The values that this venture was started under were no more, given over in favor of numbers and page likes. That was never the intent. The company was no longer what it had been made to be. Sure, there were many great ideas coming, lots of stuff that would be fantastic and I was quite looking forward to, but trust had been broken. Mistakes were made. And unfortunately, many mistakes require more than a simple apology to get around.
Yet, here I am. I feel hurt. I feel slightly afraid. And I'm very sad. I'm sad for all the people that have been hurt by the actions of this group, knowingly or unknowingly. I feel scared that I may have lost some friendships myself. And I'm not really sure who to trust right now. I think I need to step back from everything for awhile. I'm still a member of the groups, even those I didn't admin on, but right now I'm not sure I want to even be part of those unless they separate from Geeks Unite as many already have done.
Silly as it sounds, I have actually been a bit emotional over it all. However, I do have one positive thing to say. I feel free. Finally, I feel free of all the drama that surrounded the group over the past few months... drama that slowly escalated months after the death of the original founder. We worked really hard to preserve what it started as, what it was meant to be, and instead, things went downhill. I'm really not sure how much I'm willing to say on this blog, mostly because I don't want any more people hurt. I'm just really needing to let this all out in some way.
And perhaps, in some strange way, this is better for us right now anyway. It was taking a lot of our time, time I feel I can now devote to other things. Like my hobbies. Perhaps my YouTube channel. Costumes. Or even designing my own kids clothes. I've always had so many interests, so many dreams, and now I'd like to move forward with them. However, I am hurting a bit right now, and will likely need time to myself for a bit. Time devoted to prayer, family, and friends.
Maybe I can even take a break from Facebook as my responsibilities on there have been removed. Would be nice.
Anyway, thanks for reading my ramblings. I need to go back to breaking up the real life drama between my kids... again. Sigh. Have a good week, everyone.
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
I'm Late, I'm Late, For a Very Important Date
Well, no, not really. But I am so sick and tired of being 5 minutes late for pretty much everything. And when I know I'll be late and say as much, I'm later still. Timing on the farm is partly to blame, I know that. Evening things are almost an impossibility. I try to steer clear of anything that I'm supposed to be at between 7 and 8pm... which is everything. Why? I cannot get there.
Awana, for example, starts at 7pm. It took until near the end of the year before we were finally arriving a before 7, and that was likely due to not having ice on the van, or roads, or needing jackets and extra shoes in addition to boots and stuff. Otherwise we were always 5 minutes late. Always. Drove me nuts. We usually eat supper at 7, and for those days I would make supper for 5:30. Of course, that means nobody wants to eat (even though I omitted the 4pm snack they were used to having) so they would take forever. I'd be packing them into their gear by 6:30 (tried for earlier) and then lo and behold 'I have to go potty' or 'I cannot find my bag' (I just got them ready and had them by the door. I always have them ready by the door. I'm not sure what possesses my kids to take them and move them to other areas of the house. BONKERS I tell you), or the baby poops up... again... and we only get into the van at 10 to 7... and it takes 10 minutes to drive. Sigh.
Here's the thing. I hate being late. I find it rude. So, that means I'm rude, because I'm always late. I am sick of it. Doesn't matter if I find I'm consistently 5 minutes late, I'll get up half an hour earlier or make supper half an hour earlier to find that it saved us... get this... two minutes. Two. That's it. We're still late. The only thing left is to try getting the kids into the van an hour before we need to be somewhere. I've done it a few times... and guess what. They get their stuff on and in the van immediately and then we are waiting around for 40 minutes with nothing to do. And that is NOT something you want to be doing with 4 kids 6 and under. Nobody wants you to have your kids at their place that early. Because super early is, in my opinion, as rude as being late.
I've come to the thought process that 5 to 10 minutes early/late isn't a big deal anymore. Why? Half the time it's clock difference (I thought I was 10 minutes early for church one day and when seeing the clock saw that I arrived right 'on time' because our clocks were different. Then there have been times where I thought people would arrive at a certain time only to see that my clocks were now 15minutes fast). I see it as a grace period of sorts. I still have a hard time applying it to myself, even though I had no problem applying it to everyone else around me. 5 minutes late? No big deal! But being consistently 5 minutes late myself for just about everything is driving me bonkers. Bonkers. I know I need to let it go (and maybe when I do, we'll suddenly be on time for everything... but not likely).
Until then, I will probably be saying no to all the evening invitations we get for everything. Anything that requires me going by myself without my kids will see similar unless it's ok if I arrive 15-20minutes late (that is always dependant on when my husband comes home because I hardly see the point in packing up all the kids for a babysitter to watch them for 15 minutes or half an hour since EVERYTHING starts at the time my husband usually comes out of the barn). And honestly, I'm ready to drop everything and say 'screw it, I'm done'. My reliability meter is in the toilet since I cannot remember things anymore, and even when I write it down, I'll forget to check the calendar some mornings for unknown reasons (I'm usually good with that, except this last month. Terrible).
So, I apologize to all my friends for my tardiness. I apologize for saying we won't be coming to something. I apologize for not being reliable anymore. I'm just not. It isn't you. I would like to come to so many things to support you (those parties that people have for Tupperware and stuff as an example) because I hate how it feels to invite 30-40 people and have 2 show up with 15 maybes and 5 that cancel last minute. That is why I come late... because I feel it is better than not coming at all. If I book a party through you, it is with the knowledge that I will likely not get anywhere with it myself due to aforementioned invitation issues.
I know they say that tardy people are just selfish and rude. I understand that my tardiness is rude, however I fail to see how it is 'selfish' in every circumstance. Saying no, for me, is infinitely easier and more selfish that saying 'yes, but I'll be late'. But hey, we are all selfish by nature. Ah well.
Super thankful I have nothing to be late for this week. Last week was truly a bummer. And a lot of extra laundry (because with babies, 'poop' happens).
Awana, for example, starts at 7pm. It took until near the end of the year before we were finally arriving a before 7, and that was likely due to not having ice on the van, or roads, or needing jackets and extra shoes in addition to boots and stuff. Otherwise we were always 5 minutes late. Always. Drove me nuts. We usually eat supper at 7, and for those days I would make supper for 5:30. Of course, that means nobody wants to eat (even though I omitted the 4pm snack they were used to having) so they would take forever. I'd be packing them into their gear by 6:30 (tried for earlier) and then lo and behold 'I have to go potty' or 'I cannot find my bag' (I just got them ready and had them by the door. I always have them ready by the door. I'm not sure what possesses my kids to take them and move them to other areas of the house. BONKERS I tell you), or the baby poops up... again... and we only get into the van at 10 to 7... and it takes 10 minutes to drive. Sigh.
Here's the thing. I hate being late. I find it rude. So, that means I'm rude, because I'm always late. I am sick of it. Doesn't matter if I find I'm consistently 5 minutes late, I'll get up half an hour earlier or make supper half an hour earlier to find that it saved us... get this... two minutes. Two. That's it. We're still late. The only thing left is to try getting the kids into the van an hour before we need to be somewhere. I've done it a few times... and guess what. They get their stuff on and in the van immediately and then we are waiting around for 40 minutes with nothing to do. And that is NOT something you want to be doing with 4 kids 6 and under. Nobody wants you to have your kids at their place that early. Because super early is, in my opinion, as rude as being late.
I've come to the thought process that 5 to 10 minutes early/late isn't a big deal anymore. Why? Half the time it's clock difference (I thought I was 10 minutes early for church one day and when seeing the clock saw that I arrived right 'on time' because our clocks were different. Then there have been times where I thought people would arrive at a certain time only to see that my clocks were now 15minutes fast). I see it as a grace period of sorts. I still have a hard time applying it to myself, even though I had no problem applying it to everyone else around me. 5 minutes late? No big deal! But being consistently 5 minutes late myself for just about everything is driving me bonkers. Bonkers. I know I need to let it go (and maybe when I do, we'll suddenly be on time for everything... but not likely).
Until then, I will probably be saying no to all the evening invitations we get for everything. Anything that requires me going by myself without my kids will see similar unless it's ok if I arrive 15-20minutes late (that is always dependant on when my husband comes home because I hardly see the point in packing up all the kids for a babysitter to watch them for 15 minutes or half an hour since EVERYTHING starts at the time my husband usually comes out of the barn). And honestly, I'm ready to drop everything and say 'screw it, I'm done'. My reliability meter is in the toilet since I cannot remember things anymore, and even when I write it down, I'll forget to check the calendar some mornings for unknown reasons (I'm usually good with that, except this last month. Terrible).
So, I apologize to all my friends for my tardiness. I apologize for saying we won't be coming to something. I apologize for not being reliable anymore. I'm just not. It isn't you. I would like to come to so many things to support you (those parties that people have for Tupperware and stuff as an example) because I hate how it feels to invite 30-40 people and have 2 show up with 15 maybes and 5 that cancel last minute. That is why I come late... because I feel it is better than not coming at all. If I book a party through you, it is with the knowledge that I will likely not get anywhere with it myself due to aforementioned invitation issues.
I know they say that tardy people are just selfish and rude. I understand that my tardiness is rude, however I fail to see how it is 'selfish' in every circumstance. Saying no, for me, is infinitely easier and more selfish that saying 'yes, but I'll be late'. But hey, we are all selfish by nature. Ah well.
Super thankful I have nothing to be late for this week. Last week was truly a bummer. And a lot of extra laundry (because with babies, 'poop' happens).
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